"To fly 7 million light years to O'Hare and then have to turn around and go home because your gate was occupied is simply unacceptable."
-- Craig Burzych, O'Hare airport controller

Fat Usher OP

There’s no point of even suggesting this card to Blizzard. If Hearthstone players rage quit when they see Ragnaros, imagine how angry they’ll be at Fat Usher…

fat usher hearthstone

April 14th, 2014 2 comments
Posted by Filed under Entertainment, Gaming

That time me and Kim Jong Il were in NBA Jam

Although Kim Jong-Il was a baller, it just wasn’t enough. Shawn Bradley hit a half-court three pointer with :01 left to win the game. (Yes, the arcade version of NBA Jam absolutely cheated!)

NBA Jam full

March 23rd, 2014 2 comments
Posted by Filed under Entertainment, North Korea

Age of Empires

Over the course of 2014, I have been playing the original Age of Empires (plus Rise of Rome expansion!).

This is an official announcement that I have, as of tonight, defeated all the campaigns on Hardest difficulty.

A handful of the maps were quite memorable because they were so tough, but some were surprisingly easy. (“Easy” meaning I had to restart at most once.) The penultimate scenario in “Enemies of Rome” was a worthy challenge, although it was short and only took a couple restarts. The final map was, sadly, a relative laugher. Maybe I deserved a cakewalk for the final night.

Kudos to the campaign designers for thinking up enough unique challenges to keep the campaigns interesting.

Clearly, there’s no way my mid-30′s self could do decently in multiplayer, though. Muttering “macro, macro, macro, upgrade, upgrade, upgrade” after a fight indicates my poor ability to multi-task.

Does this mean moving on to Age of Empires 2? You bet!

March 17th, 2014 4 comments
Posted by Filed under Gaming, Grilled Cheese

I got a new job

The best thing is that drinking on the job is a requirement (engrish.com is the best)!

programmers-urine-shrimp

March 17th, 2014 2 comments
Posted by Filed under Patently Ineffective, Random

Eggs vs Humans

Everything Eggs vs Humans related is going to be posted to eggsvshumans.com. Has its own blog and everything!

I’ll leave LEP to its own devices, and not be lazy about posting silly stories hopefully.

March 9th, 2014 3 comments
Posted by Filed under Eggs Vs Humans, Gaming

They’re trying to make Shaq-Fu again

ShaqFu_logo

Holy macaroni.

The 90′s fighting game Shaq-Fu has been a punchline for decades. The hatred and derision reached such a passion, a website was dedicated to tracking down and eliminating all copies of the game.

But now, Shaq and some new developers want a second crack at it. They’ve already raised over $50,000 in one day and are targeting $450,000!

For a mere $15 donation, you’ll get the game. At $150, you’ll get to do a voiceover with your name in the credits! How can you resist?

March 7th, 2014 2 comments
Posted by Filed under Gaming

I don’t understand why a programmer would do this

So I found a programming blog where the writer indicated he needed to convert DateTime to ticks and vice versa. (This is in C#.)

He presents this:


public static long ConvertDateTimeToTicks( DateTime dtInput)
{
long ticks = 0;
ticks=dtInput.Ticks;
return ticks;
}
public static DateTime ConvertTicksToDateTime( long lticks)
{
DateTime dtresult = new DateTime(lticks);
return dtresult;
}

Why write a separate function for these as an example? It’s right there in .NET (unless he was supposed to wrap the functionality, and copypasta’d for convenience).

March 7th, 2014 no comments
Posted by Filed under Computer-fu

Learning curve close to over

After sporadic learning, I’m starting to feel comfortable in HaxeFlixel. Also have picked up Spriter to do animations. It’s not perfect, but it was cheap and will be just fine once I figure out all its quirks.

Here’s a playable bare-bones EvH2. The Cannon Fodder remind me more of police carrying truncheons than anything (they are supposed to be carrying rolling pins). But the animation actually looks semi-adequate for a noob, certainly better than the first EvH.

Instead of the units auto-attacking like in EvH1, you can build up your army then choose to attack (or retreat if the battle goes badly!). You can also queue up to 5 units. The battlefield is longer than one screen…can be scrolled with keyboard or mouse.

Obviously, a ton more work to do.

February 24th, 2014 2 comments
Posted by Filed under Eggs Vs Humans, Gaming

Political correctness

A few people took offense to a few of the units in EvH1.

One person didn’t like the Vomiter, because the concept was kind of gross. And another player didn’t like the Token Black Guy because it was an explicit race reference. No one mentioned the Obesity upgrade, but I’m sure someone thought I was making fun of fat people.

The line between offensiveness and fun can be very thin, and everyone’s going to be different. But there is something to keeping things as non-offensive as possible if the audience could be anyone.

That having been said, I planned on replacing the Vomiter anyway. The “napkin plan” has a set of Pirate units for the Eggs; the Vomiter’s replacement is the Rum Drinker.
The Token Black Guy is not set to return (this doesn’t have to do with the complaint)
The Couch Potato’s Obesity upgrade will be renamed to “Beer Belly”.

Now with the references to rum and beer, someone’s going to say “You’re making light of alcoholism!”

You just can’t win.

January 12th, 2014 5 comments
Posted by Filed under Eggs Vs Humans, Gaming

Finding HaxeFlixel and thoughts on appearance

Appearance

There are thousands of games where your first battle is in a grassy field. Sure, it’s a staple and can look nice, but it doesn’t pull attention.

I’m inclined to make the first battle inside a kitchen. Sure, there will be the grassy fields or snowy mountains later. But, you know, it’s Eggs vs Humans. And the current napkin design calls for multiple types of chefs! Fighting in a kitchen just makes sense.

Tools

My first games were programmed in AS3 using Flash CS3.

For a product released in 2007, the CS3 IDE was dreadful to use. Most of my real job uses Visual Studio 2008, which is much more friendly. Add that fact that getting Flash CC would be $20/month, and you start looking for alternatives.

The free FlashDevelop actually has features like autocomplete and find definition…oh my goodness, why didn’t CS3 have this? I’m sure that’s Adobe’s improved Flash in the last six years. But why bother?

And then there’s the actual programming.

Eggony was based on the AS2 Shootorial on Kongregate. Eggs vs Humans was AS3, completely built from scratch. The fairly-close-to-completed Secret of Breakfast is also pretty much built on nothing. The poor design of these last two programs is stunning (partially due to the AS3 learning curve), but why did I need to create everything? Surely there are libraries to speed up development!

Some searching led to Flixel. After a few days, read some of the forum, a recent entry saying “yeah, Flixel’s dead, check out HaxeFlixel, which even Adam Atomic endorses”. (Adam is the guy who made Flixel.)

So now I’m trying to pick up Haxe and Flixel. Thankfully, plenty of demos and code to look at. Good times.

January 9th, 2014 no comments
Posted by Filed under Eggs Vs Humans, Gaming