Although I’m not much of a talker, some people say my voice would work well for radio. Whether that’s true is debatable. But it gives me some perverse comfort to know that, if I ever were asked to anchor a TV news broadcast, it could end better than A.J. Clemente’s stint at a North Dakota station.
Apparently not aware he was on air, the co-anchor exclaimed “Gay…fucking shit!” The anchor managed to somewhat calmly express herself in English to begin her part of the broadcast.
Video available at source: Brand New TV News Anchor’s First Words On-Air: “Fuckin’ Shit!” (Note this headline is technically inaccurate!)
April 21st, 2013
1 comment
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Entertainment, Uncomfortability
Year after year, Santa Claus puts lumps of coal into naughty children’s stockings. And year after year, hordes of children end up on the “naughty” list. And you know what they say about insanity.
So instead of lining the pockets of Big Coal, Santa’s trying an unorthodox approach…
April 16th, 2013
3 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Random
Let’s say you have a company that’s targeting a particular city. Say Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
One of the things you may want to ensure is that the name of the city is spelled correctly. Even if your target audience is tourists that don’t know “Fort Laderdale” is incorrect.
April 15th, 2013
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Monday Fighter!
As an added bonus, I’ll throw in a Venn diagram explaining the usefulness of the “DO NOT put any person in this washer” sign:
April 8th, 2013
4 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Monday Fighter!
In Western chess, we have accepted that computers outplay humans, full stop. (Some might say we’ve resigned themselves to this fact. Please hold your applause; I’ll be here all week!)
Shogi (Japanese chess) is quite a different beast. Western chess revolves heavily around material balance. If you’re down a Pawn, you’re expected to have a significant advantage in time or position. Being down a Knight, or even two Pawns is hopeless in a typical position. In Shogi, material is not as pressing. In fact, unlike chess, if you’re down in material, you probably want to exchange pieces.
That’s because of the coolest feature of Shogi…piece drops. In Western chess, a captured piece is out for good. In Shogi, when you capture a piece, it can be returned to the board under your control, with few limits. There are many more opportunities for positional exchanges of pieces.
With regards to the computer, dropping pieces greatly expands the number of possible moves, reducing the effectiveness of brute force searches. The board is always full, so there is no “endgame” with just few pieces. In Western chess, computers can use endgame tablebases to play positions with few remaining pieces perfectly…if they even have to play that far.
But these differences are starting not to matter, as computer processing power and improved programming have finally defeated a current Shogi master.
I’m declaring the year 2020 as the over/under for a computer to play Go at a master level. And Go is NOT easy to tell computers how to play at all.
April 2nd, 2013
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Chess, Computer-fu
There used to be a chain of supermarkets in the Southeast U.S. called Bruno’s. I don’t know what the chain was like in general. One of the most noticeable features of our local branch was the lack of attention to spelling on their signs.
Bruno’s went bankrupt in 2012, bought out by one Belle Foods. Unfortunately, the spelling on their signs seems to have improved, meaning fewer Monday Fighter! opportunities, like this one:
Sail away, sail away, sail away…
April 1st, 2013
2 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Monday Fighter!
Yo, tools! Is your body a lump o’ fat, like most Americans? Don’t wanna get pitied anymore? Exclusive on Liquid Egg Product, starting April 1, I’m gonna give some free previews of my personal fitness program, PX-9000!!!! (Imagine me yellin’ that loud, you KNOW that’s intimidatin’!)
It’s my PERSONAL guarantee, that in just 9000 hours of PX-9000 training, you’ll be ripped…or you’ll be DEAD! Even if I have to kill you myself!
No expensive “protein” drinks! Not like you Americans don’t get enough protein from your fatburgers and pepperoni pizzas. Just good ol’ fashioned exercise! Minimal equipment! Just figure out how much you can bench press to know the right level for you!
March 27th, 2013
no comments
Posted by Mr. E
Filed under Bad Ads, Sports
Out of many container gardening guides, one thing they don’t emphasize: bigger containers are better!
These turned out beautiful, and it was tough starting to eat them. Plenty for the salads I’ll be consuming to counter the horrible diet I’ve “sustained” while business traveling.
March 27th, 2013
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Grilled Cheese
Here in the United States, the Supreme Court is hearing a couple cases about gay marriage. We should hear an answer by June and the smart money is on some expansion of who can legally get married.
Comment sections of articles have a wealth of poorly formed arguments concerning gay marriage. This took the cake:
Furthermore, the forces behind gay marriage have a hidden agenda.
1. Legitimize religious persecution and bigotry.
2. Assist 3rd world dictators in oppressing their people by linking homosexuality and western democracy.
I am also amused by the people that are mentioning that gays DO have the right to marry already…as long as it’s someone of the opposite gender.
March 26th, 2013
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under In the News, Patently Ineffective
For those of you who still occasionally drop by, but don’t know, the year 2013 has been about the business travel. This sign by the baggage claim kind of sums it up.
Yeah, I came from some city, and this is where I’m supposed to be. I don’t need to know any more than that right now.
And now I will eat this Burger King meal that cost as much in dollars as the amount of hours spent traveling (11).
March 25th, 2013
2 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Monday Fighter!
