液體蛋 (Liquid Egg Product)

Bob Barker may be senile, and some uncomfortability for good measure

When you think Bob Barker hosting The Price is Right, what qualities do you think of? You might say class, stability, and calm, and you’d probably figure CBS might want to stay in the same direction.

Bob Barker has a right to make friends with whoever he pleases, and I suppose he has every right to recommend a successor. I have a hard time believing he’s serious that his friend Rosie O’Donnell would make a good replacement. My guess is that he’s either losing it, or wants to cement his legacy by making sure the next host of the show is a failure.

As for the next story, kids don’t look, and, uh, a lot of you adults may not want to look either. Definitely major uncomfortability just presenting this link, but here it is: the top 10 sex records. I do call shenanigans on #5. The average, er, volume is about .003 liters. You can do the math.

Thanks to some guy Brad that I don’t know personally for the stories. (That sentence probably could have been phrased better.) Weird and patently uncomfortable stories are always welcome at Liquid Egg Product.

June 20th, 2007 1 comment
Posted by Donnie Filed under Entertainment, Uncomfortability

And this is one reason I roll my own site

If my site’s screwed up, at least I want it to be my own fault. It’s frustrating to have to rely on other people to clean up stuff for you:

Xanga Offline

I’m not being critical of Xanga. This has nothing to do with being disappointed at not being able to check three of my friends’ blogs to see if they had any updates.

June 20th, 2007 2 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Science/Technology

Many, many passengers did not enjoy their last flight

And that assumes the flight even departed.

Yesterday had all the indications of a “code red” with regards to New York flights. It was weather-related, but that’s no consolation to this would-be passenger:

We sat on the plane for five hours on the tarmac, and all they gave us was a glass of water and a granola bar.

(Yeah, but was it one of those “king size” granola bars?)

A flight that was supposed to go from San Fran to Hong Kong was canceled after the passengers waiting for 7 wretched hours. These passengers were a bit more accepting of their fate:

In the grand scheme of things, we’re going to get on our honeymoon later than we would have liked. That sucks, but as long as we get there safely, that’s important too.

The crown jewel of a less-than-perfect experience? Having an unpleasant neighbor next to you for a trans-Atlantic flight. In this case, that neighbor was overflowing sewage from a toilet:

I’ve never felt so offended in all my life. I felt like i had been physically abused and neglected. I was forced to sit next to human excrement for seven hours.

Please feel free to recommend a better way to avoid repeat customers.

June 20th, 2007 no comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under In the News, Uncomfortability

Sorry, Grandpa

When the time comes for me to get married, there’s always the issue of massive planning and making sure everything’s perfect for the bride. Because as we know, the wedding’s a girl thing. As guys, our job is to:

Say “Yes, dear,” when the fiance makes a suggestion.
Play golf up to one hour before the wedding. (Well, I don’t like golf, so I’ll stick with chess.)

One part of the planning could be very easy for me: my grandfather’s a pastor, so he’d be able to perform the ceremony, and he did do my sister’s wedding last year. Not to spurn family, but I would have to decline his services if he so offered.

You see, there’s this other guy who I’d love to perform the ceremony. You may have heard of him; his name is Tom Cruise. Apparently, he’s reached the highest levels of Scientology by taking the “cream” and the “clear”. Or something like that. This apparently means he act as some sort of priest, and rumor has it that he could perform a wedding for a friend.

I’m saving my money from now for what will hopefully be a glorious day. Who knows, maybe Xenu will tag along, and I’ll get to meet him in person.

June 20th, 2007 6 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Chess, Entertainment, Religion