Liquid Egg Product prefers its readers not to rob banks. That having been said, please read the following tips on bank robbing in the spirit in which they are given.
(Thanks to Christopher Emmorey for his experience and insight, by the way.)
- Wear a disguise. That way the cops can’t look at the video and say, “Oh, it’s that guy again,” before they come over and arrest you.
- Pre-plan your alibi. Don’t call your friends after the robbery to try to make one up.
- A bank is not a convenience store. They don’t have a sticker on the front door that says “No more than $50 in register”. (And if they do, consider changing banks.) Don’t believe the teller when says she can only get $200.
- There’s no paperwork to fill out.
- Banks don’t charge robbers service fees. This applies even if you normally rob another bank.
July 10th, 2007
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Weaksauce Losers
Everyone prefers to eat fresh food, and most people need some sort of assurance that their food isn’t rotten before they’ll eat it. (My personal threshhold is making sure it’s mostly mold- and maggot-free.)
A Taiwanese chef is “under fire” for going the extra mile to demonstrate he uses only the freshest ingredients. The chef served a delicacy known as “yin yang fish”: a deep-fried fish that’s served with its head still twitching.
Deep frying conscious animals…yeah, that’s no good. Definitely smacks of a lack of compassion. Restaurants and chefs should be zealous to demonstrate the quality of their food, but they don’t need to serve their food with an extra dash of torture. As long as they can honestly say they don’t purchase their seafood from a roadside vendor, they’re probably on the right track.
July 10th, 2007
3 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Burning Agony
