Insight into ancient warfare: Why javelineers were more useful than long jumpers.

100 feet from disaster: Two planes almost collided yesterday at the Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood Airport.

It didn’t fit in the trunk: A wrecking ball snaps loose from a crane, smashing cars and injuring people. Zero deaths.

Perhaps Overly Worried Father: Definitely. (See the last letter)

No, presidential wanna-be Mike Huckabee’s not worried about the Australian wool trade (as far as I know).

He also thinks Michael Moore is fat and should improve his health. Huckabee pretty much blamed voluntarily unhealthy people (smokers, overeaters, etc.) for taxing the health care system.

Sometimes the day after a cholesterol test, I’ll go to a Wild Bean Café in a BP station and get an egg and bacon on an “everything” bagel. They even have a touch-screen computer to enter your order, which is a good thing if the person at the counter can’t speak much English.

Today’s sandwich-purchasing path was rather convoluted. First, a middle-aged guy yelled “Young man!” at me just before entering the automatic glass doors. He said he was homeless and hungry, and was interested in a meal more than money. He promised that both of us would be blessed if I would help him.* So I gave him a bit of cash, and to his credit, he went directly into the store to buy breakfast.

I went in and placed the order on the touch-screen machine, which printed out a receipt (“please pay the cashier and your sandwich will be ready when you return”). The cashier tried to ring up the order, but didn’t know how to do it. She asked me to wait while the more experienced other girl came back.

So I watched other people pay for their stuff for a minute, then started reading “Backseat Driver”. It’s an activity book for young kids that’s not cleverly disguised propaganda designed to trick them into thinking BP is pro-environment.

The experienced lady came back and was able to ring up my sandwich. I tried to pay by debit card. The first time, I typed the PIN incorrectly. The other 3 tries only got a “network error”–but, fortunately the credit card worked.

Despite the receipt’s assurances, the sandwich was not ready when I returned. It didn’t take too long…but still.

OK, that’s enough. Happy Friday the 13th.