When was the last time you broke out the comics page of the newspaper? (Assuming you’re part of the ever-shrinking group that actually buys newspapers). Is it just me, or have the comics become so dreadful and insipid, that they’re no longer worth looking forward to?
Famous stalwarts are mere shadows of their former glory. Dilbert’s down to being funny twice a month. Garfield lost any sort of creativity and energy 15 years ago. And Cathy’s as compelling as reading a novel spit out by a random word generator.
But at least those guys at least pretend to attempt to entertain, and like the hand of a blind man finding a seed, will occasionally produce a strip of some worth. These on the other hand, are the kinds of strips that everyone I know skips over, except maybe to laugh at the “drama” and “emotion” the authors so regularly fail to generate.
Prince Valiant: This strip appeals to those who both like medieval fighting stuff and have no problem reading
War and Peace in three days. This Venn diagram demonstrates the problem with making this your target audience:
As you can see, the intersection of the two sets is very, very tiny. That being said, it’s still found in every major newspaper that I’ve read. Guess it’s true what they say about having connections.
(You can click to enlarge, but it’s not worth it.)
Mark Trail: The best part is its liberal use of English-speaking animals to interject vital plot points into the story.
Apt 3-G: If you haven’t read the strip from pretty much the beginning, whatever Margo and company says and does makes no sense whatsoever. It’s like reading one paragraph from the middle of
War and Peace:
See what I mean? However, they do have a brunette, redhead, and blonde, so they got your preference covered.
July 19th, 2007
4 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Entertainment
Dogfighting is brutal, sadistic, and intolerable. I don’t need to relate the kinds of torture dogs go through for this form of entertainment, but anyone involved in this stuff has to be mindless or heartless. Some time ago, the feds found evidence of dogfighting and training in a property owned by NFL quarterback Michael Vick. It should be noted that he does not actually live there, but had at least one cousin living there. Over the past weeks, there have been rumors of the kinds of activities and speculation of how much the football star was involved. Today I received this from PETA:
NFL star Michael Vick, of the Atlanta Falcons, has been indicted by a federal grand jury on felony dogfighting charges. We need your help to tell the NFL that someone who allows this kind of neglect and abuse to occur doesn’t belong in its organization. Please write to the NFL to ask that Vick be immediately suspended.
I’m glad PETA will beat the drum on this kind of thing, but Vick has not been convicted of anything yet. Except, perhaps, in the court of public opinion (yay, pukey cliché!). So there will be a lot of PETA Moonies petitioning the NFL to suspend a possibly innocent person. Well done.
July 19th, 2007
8 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under In the News, Sports
Have you ever wondered how insects tell themselves apart? We can barely see a difference between one praying mantis to the next, yet we know that somehow, they manage to determine who’s who.
It’s just like old white guys in government. Look at the picture at the top, and tell me how the heck we can tell those Senators apart. If it weren’t for the different color ties, those guys be indistinguishable.
There is one thing I must congratulate Congress on. The webpage the picture’s from is proof positive that Congress does have some self-control on the budget, as they clearly have not hired anyone to update the page design since the mid-90’s. A few things my co-workers and I noticed:
- There’s still a link to Netscape Navigator
- Site is “optimized” for IE 4 and Navigator 4
- The senator pic uses imagemaps
- A 400KB 2500px wide pic is loaded to display a 421px wide pic
July 19th, 2007
2 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under History, Science/Technology
From their website today:
Primo Numeri is here and believes that all his sales are prime examples of great savings. Not to be confused with his cousin Cheapano Fibonacci, Primo’s sales consist of only prime numbers.
$2, $3, $5, $7, $8,…
Note to Spirit: 8 is not a prime number. It’s this kind of misinformation that has lead to our nation’s children to the bottom of the barrel in math skills.
Liquid Egg Product proposes a lawsuit in recompense for yet another example of corporate malfeasance, wilful incompetance, emotional rape, and psychological distress. Due to this shoddy, deceptive advertisement, the nation’s schools must spend countless hours reteaching the concept of prime numbers. Young, impressionable students will be hopelessly confused, thus hindering the education they so desperately need. Furthermore, when Americans visit other nations, and mention 8 as a prime number, it will reflect poorly on the capabilities of the nation, influencing foreign public opinion. This will hamper the USA’s already difficult diplomatic efforts.*
Thus, Liquid Egg Product believes some restitution is in order. $67 million dollars should do the trick.
(I wonder if they’ll countersue for using their pic on this site? Or would they be happy for the free advertisement? Or both…)
July 18th, 2007
3 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Bad Ads, Snake Oil
Random stuff found on the road (apologies for the poor quality of a couple of the pics):
Do I get to tell him why “coexistence” isn’t going to happen anytime soon?
Bravo. The first fish sticker that’s made me laugh.
He must have found this using a Bible Code.
This is bizarre. So the handicapped have their own country?
July 18th, 2007
3 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Bad Ads
Martin Rike’s doctor had recommended he start doing a “fun but safe” activity. But it doesn’t take medical school to realize the doctor is on the ball.
You see, Mr. Rike weighs 500 pounds. Attempting to take his doctor’s advice, he went with a group to tube on the St. Croix River. His tube went flat, stranding him in the water. When he tried to walk to land, he incapacitated himself by slipping, thus injuring his knee and ankle. So, he had to wait around to be rescued.
The aircraft that found him couldn’t handle his weight. For various reasons, attempts with other vehicles failed. Eventually, 40 to 50 rescuers ended up heaving-hoing him 2 feet at time on a makeshift raft to a spot where they could put him on an ambulance.
This is probably not the way most people were hoping to get their 15 minutes of fame.
500-Pound Man Rescued After 12 Hours In River
July 18th, 2007
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under In the News
Maybe a year ago, a restaurant called Casino Subs opened up. They sold subs (obviously), but also Kerrybanes (Philly cheesesteaks) complete with Amoroso bread! I went a handful of times before they closed down.
A month or two ago, they re-opened, except compressed into half the space–I can only suppose they were hemorraging money by trying to pay rent on too much square footage.
Yesterday, I went in after the lunch rush, and was the only one in the store. There was a woman at the cash register. As I approached, she left the cash register to go to the back, and joined some co-workers who were having some sort of argument about a failed order or something. They must have taken their cue from Asian @#*!$ Kitchen about having heating arguments in front of customers. Except without the cussing.
Is it a coincidence Asian @#*!$ Kitchen and Casino Subs are next to each other?
They had to have known I was there, as I could see them easily. But I guess having an argument was more important than a serving a customer.
Eventually, I ordered the “Johnny Chan” cheesesteak (includes teriyaki sauce), and took a seat to wait. Upon realizating I needed a drink, I got a bottled water and went back to the register. The guy did not look up to greet me, and was eventually prompted by the manager to take care of me.
Having to initiate the conversation with the employee is my pet peeve of bad customer service. I always tried to make sure the customers were at least greeted even if we were really busy (working at Pearle Vision).
One time at Circuit City, I had gone to the “Firedog” counter to ask a question where there were FIVE FRIGGIN EMPLOYEES standing behind the counter, and not one of them recognized me. 2 were busy; 3 were fake busy, and it was one of the busy ones that finally acknowledged me a minute later. I purposely did not try to get their attention to see how long it would take.
If Casino Subs didn’t have such good cheesesteaks, I wouldn’t be inclined go again.
July 17th, 2007
8 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Grilled Cheese, Uncomfortability
Ever since changing to Wordpress in May, my perspective on the blogging world has evolved quite a bit. The WP community and resources are rich, and I’ve been visiting various blogs just to see what’s out there.
The thing about blogs is that mostly, I’m visiting once or twice. It could be that the subject matter just doesn’t interest me. It could be bad writing.* Maybe it’s targeted to a narrow audience. Perhaps it almost never gets updated. Possibly, it could have been good if everyone weren’t already saying the same thing. Or maybe there are just too many grilled cheese posts.**
These guys are different. I actually visit once or twice a week to see what they’re up to.
Reassembler: Has perhaps the greatest image header of all time. Your source on subjects as diverse as Miss Sakamoto, bathrooms unspeakable, and how to drive in Massachusetts. And of course, reassembly. He’s a USCF-rated expert, and would whoop up on me pretty good on the chessboard.
Hardcore Pawnography: If you have some interest in chess and can tolerate the occasional cuss word, this is for you. It’s a lot about his quest to improve his chess, and is much more interesting than I made it sound.
Out of the Ether: Mostly chess stuff; I’m waiting for the next unusual chess set he/she comes across. Not so frequentedly updated.
July 17th, 2007
7 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Chess, Entertainment, Grilled Cheese
An Iranian student organization has developed a game called “Rescue the Nuke Scientist”, where Iranian special ops rescue nuclear scientists from the U.S. and Israel. This is in response to KumaWar’s “Assault on Iran”, in which the player infiltrates an Iranian nuclear facility. Next thing you know, we’ll start deciding wars by computer simulations instead of actual fighting.
Parents addicted to an online game were arrested for neglecting their kids. According to the prosecutor, “They had food; they just chose not to give it to their kids because they were too busy playing video games.” That’s pretty sad.
Speaking of online games, a couple friends and I had a most gratifying World of Warcraft session (and it’s been a while). Our job was to escort a computer character without her dying; we had an average level of 36. There was this level 42 enemy Hunter who decided to kill the escort just to be annoying–but we all ganged up on him and he panicked, realizing as he fell to his death that 6 levels of difference wasn’t enough to deal with three against one.
Side note: when a female says “watch my rear”, most males will be all too glad to oblige…
I am proud to say that I haven’t made any children starve due to World of Warcraft.
July 16th, 2007
5 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Gaming, Grilled Cheese
If you aren’t tired of the war by now, please let me know (apathy doesn’t count). It would be a bit easier to stomach if it looked like the Iraqi government were well on its way to handling its own business. It doesn’t look like that’s happening anytime soon.
If our government is simply willing to spend a little more money, here’s a way it can start to plot a new direction in Iraq.
Short of that, I’d just send in Shaq, Chuck Norris, and the Cheat Commandos, and call it a day.
July 16th, 2007
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Snake Oil
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