“Take that, Selby! You actually had to pay attention for a couple of moves!”

I’m so excited! A non-regular visitor has responded very intriguingly to Liquid Egg Product, and I am trying to determine the best way to mock her. In the meantime, 160 new work e-mails deserve my immediate attention.

Vacation has been successfully completed with a few unintentional side effects, such as being sick half the time. (Being afflicted with an illness is not a good way to restart work.)

Look forward to a more regular posting schedule that will enable you to slack off at work for a period of 2 to 30 minutes, depending on how large and compelling the material is.

Vacation has been satisfactory enough so that I don’t feel like going back to work on Monday. I’d not been planning to post anything until then, but wanted to get this out.

I am way behind on personal e-mail and blog stuff, and will catch up upon return.

John Witter of the Jig-Saw History Blog was the original guy to tag me.

Rules:

1. Post these rules before you give your facts.
2. List 8 random facts about yourself.
3. At the end of your post, choose (tag) 8 people and list their names, linking to them.
4. Leave a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been tagged.

Eight Random Facts About Me

1. Despite my obvious whiteness, I’m about a quarter black.
2. I have a phobia of anorexics, but it does not extend to the (involuntarily) starving or especially thin.
3. Much of my casual wardrobe consists of free T-shirts from giving blood.
4. After living in Miami for five years, I root for the Heat, Marlins, and Panthers, but will never back the Dolphins.
5. Practically any drink with rum as the primary alcohol gets a thumbs-up from me.
6. I used to be able to accurately multiply two 3-digit numbers in my head (but not nearly as fast as just using a calculator).
7. The opening move 1. e4 is anathema to me. I don’t remember ever using it in a chess tournament.
8. I will undoubtedly think of a few items that were more interesting than #3, #4, and #8 about an hour from now.

Tagged: BabyA622, I Hate Pink!, Reassembler, Hardcore Pawnography, Out of the Ether, thelaw, Mr. Fantasy, Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Last night, after picking up the rental car, I drive to the Dallas tollway to get to my friend’s place. The entry sign clearly said “Change Made”, so there shouldn’t have been a problem with me having naught but a $10 bill.

The sign should have said “Change Made only if you have a $1 or $5 bill”. Instead of an actual person manning the booth, there was a change machine that worked for $1 or $5 only. Seeing the cars pile up behind me, I desperately slipped in the $10, but no dice. Panicked thrashing through luggage wasn’t any help either. Left with no choice, I meekly crawled through the booth, well aware of the behemoth camera recording the scene of rental car’s license plate in conjunction with a red light indicating an unpaid toll.

The next booth actually did have a person; with relief, I got change and asked for the NTTA’s number (North Texas Tollway Authority).

Cool! The NTTA’s homepage already has a picture of me running the red light.

This morning I tried to call them to do a little preemptive action. After jumping through several voice menus, I managed to get to where a violation number had to be entered to go any further.

Not having one (yet), I attempted to call them a second time. After pressing “1″ for English, the system started spewing the second voice menu. Apparently, a defeated sigh is a valid option, because that took me to the Tolltag customer menu.

Time for attempt #3. I hate this.

(UPDATE: Spoke with a representative who said if it was only that one time when that happened, there won’t be any problems. NTTA is now off my archenemies list, bringing the total to zero.)

That 3-1-1 policy (severely limiting the amount of liquids one can bring on a flight) is a knee-jerk reaction to a single event. Someone tries to blow up the plane with shoes? Check everybody’s shoes. Next time it’s liquids, so ban the liquids. If Al-Qaeda’s smart, the next plot will prominently feature socks and underwear, leading the FAA to ban socks and underwear on all future US flights.

The electronic chess set I carry on flights seems to give the inspectors fits, as this is the second time in a row they called for a bag check. (For you chess people, game score of the sad miniature below.)

Being an airline employee, I can fly at a nominal price, but on a space available status. Fortunately, the flight was not nearly full, and they even asked whether I wanted a window or aisle seat. The most natural answer, of course, was to request a middle seat to double my chances of sitting next to a cute girl to flirt with.* Of course, there was the flip side (doubling the odds one of those 55-year-old South American men who like me a bit too much would be adjacent), so I stuck with the window.

After we were seated, we discovered we’d be delayed 45 minutes, and we were already at a point where we couldn’t use electronic devices. So, it was time to break out the SkyMall. On the cover was a chick in a bathing suit, which is as close as I’d get to sitting near a cute girl on the plane. Products featured that are useful for someone who’s not me:

• Another “revolutionary” electric razor from Norelco
• GrillAlert, which lets you know when your meat’s done cooking from 300 feet away
• Pop-up hot dog toaster, for those who like eating unidentifiable meat
• Thunderbolt storm detector, to tell you when a storm is coming. Only $430.

The sad game against the crappy computer. The only possible defense is that I haven’t played any serious chess in six months (diagrams made with apronus.com’s diagram editor, since I’m well away from my usual tools)

White (Me)
Black (Crappy Computer)
1. d4	d5
2. c4	dxc4
The Queen’s Gambit Accepted! Most low-level comps don’t handle it very well, making too many positional or developmental sacrifices to keep the Pawn.
3. Nc3	Nc6
4. d5	…
The combo of not playing in six months and being generally too lazy to study openings anyway meant I thought for a while about the last two moves. For a long time, my favorite reply to the QGA was 3. e4, trying to establish a classical center and not block my Queen’s Bishop. It seems that move tries for too much, and Black can counterattack the center. This move 4.d5 is probably the same, an overextension. I was eager to kick the Knight around and try to make some central gains (anticipating 4. … Ne5 5. f4 Ng6 6. e4.)
…	Na5
5. Qa4+	c6
6. dxc6	Nxc6
For some reason, I thought Black had to recapture with the Pawn. Put it down to tiredness.
7. Bf4	…
I’m still not sure what’s best. I was eager to bring the Rook to the d-File and stop e5, besides bringing pressure to c7. Perhaps trying to develop the Kingside forces was better, but I thought it might to too slow to take advantage of my slight development advantage.
…	Qb6
Seems to be a very strange and bad move. There are probably some tactical reasons the comp played this that I’m not seeing.
8. Nd5	…
Shouldn’t 8. O-O-O be considered here? Yes, Black can take on f2, but it sure looks like a time-waster.
…	Qxb2
9. Nc7+	Kd8
10. Rd1+	Bd7
Up to here I’d foreseen, and was anticipating picking up the Rook with a winning advantage. But then doubt crept in my mind about this material grab, and Black would end up with heavy initiative due to my lack of Kingside development. I played the next move to try to increase pressure against his King (threatening Qxf7, which then would hit f8 and d7) and guard the c3 square, but it backfires. Qxf7 is a non-threat which is easily parried and gives Black time to consolidate its defenses.
11. Qxc4	e5
Strangely, the crappy computer still has me up .4 pawns in this position. Must be event horizon. The rest of my moves are rather poor despite thinking forever about them.
12. Qxf7	Bxb4+
13. Bd2	Nxd4
14. Bxb4	Qxb4+
Black has forced checkmate in three moves. I resign.

Shortly, I leave on vacation.

Unfortunately, those of you who use this site as a diversion from work will find the site very sparsely updated until I get back on the 27th.

Those of you who don’t use this site as a diversion from work will also find the site very sparsely updated until I get back on the 27th.

I will leave you to make your own judgment on this one…

(All the pics link to the same page: a trailer for the game Bibleman: A Fight for Faith)

It just hasn’t been a good day for middle-age slightly greying black men with a wispy moustaches wearing black pinstripe suits.

So to help you guys out, I’m introducing the Liquid Egg Product Diet.