I be doin’ some research and it not be the case that the pirates of ol’ really had be talkin’ like this. My cap’n be a fool, and those landlubbers Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy be startin’ a fake holiday wi’ fake history and fake premise. Me would be quittin’ right now, except me need to be receivin’ my gold at the end of the day. And to be gettin’ me gold, I need to be talkin’ like a pirate for some more sentences. Curses!

Arrrr.

I be killin’ Cap’n Donnie when he get back tonight. Arrrr. Then he be understandin’ the word mutiny. Arrrr. Until then, I still be talkin’ like a pirate ’cause I still be under contract. Arrrr.

If ye be havin’ a normal job lucky punk, ye can try this for fun:

Ye should be tryin’ talkin’ like a pirate to ye customers. Then ye boss will be making ye walk the plank. O fire ye if he not have a plank for ye to walk on. If ye ne can be speaking with customers to ruin ye company’s honor, ye can start confrontin’ ye boss with pirate talk. Then ye no havin’ to be worryin’ about work the next day, matey.

Then swig some rum and eat a lime to ward off the stinkin’ scurvy. And buy ye a parrot for ye starboard shoulder as well.

Arrrr.

Ye landlubbers may be noticin’ today’s looks be pirate-themed. It even be my face that be plasted o’er ye Jolly Roger.