If you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen me at your local night club picking up ladies, it’s because I’ve been doing some research for the website (see picture, above).

After painstaking labor, I was able to ascertain that Liquid Egg Product is the 2,182,289th best website in the world. It would have cracked 2 millionth place if I were featured more frequently, more like 90% of the time.

And it would help if I got a raise, too.

Today is the last day to cast your vote for the 2007 Liquid Egg Product on the Face Award. Although everyone who was going to vote has done so already, I think. And the winner is an almost-certainty. Even so.

A problem with automatically generated ads is the potential for not-so-strategic ad placement.

For example, the juxtaposition of this particular ad and news story cannot fail to be memorable.

As BDK has already noted, the Dolphins won their first game of the year, beating the Baltimore Ravens 22-16 in overtime.

I first saw this news landing in Houston this afternoon. It actually put me in a bit of a foul mood (???), so I listened to my hip-hop/rap CD while driving home. (There are two major things which will motivate me to listen to rap: being in a bad/aggressive mood or highway driving. The confluence of the two factors meant my choice of music was a foregone conclusion.)

There is little else to say, except my interest in the rest of the NFL season has taken a nosedive. The only thing to look forward to is hoping the Texans can finish above .500 for the first time in franchise history.

Haven’t voted yet? Cast your vote for the 2007 Liquid Egg Product on the Face Award! December 18th is the last day to vote!

Microsoft really wants to make sure have all the latest security updates for your comp: the default settings have the computer automatically download and install your security patches. And when that gets finished, Windows prompts you every 10 minutes “Do you want to restart your computer now?”

Now, if you’re in the middle of doing something on the computer (which you are, because you’re reading the blasted message), you choose “Restart Later”. 10 minutes later, it asks you again. This may start to get a smidgeon annoying.

But you have the power to change how often it pops up (or even eliminate it altogether):

1. Click the Start button, then Run (for those of you who speak keyboard shortcuts, it’s Windows key + R)

2. Type gpedit.msc in the box and hit enter.

3. You’ll see a window titled “Group Policy”. Open the folders as follows:

Local Computer Policy
+ Computer Configuration
+ Administrative Templates
+ Windows Components
Windows Update

4. The setting we want is “Re-prompt for restart with scheduled installations”. (If no one’s messed with it, the state will say “Not configured”, which defaults to showing the restart message every 10 minutes.)

Double-click to open.

5. Select the “Enabled” button, and fill in the box with the delay in minutes before the restart box will pop up, and click “OK”. Or you can disable it if you never want to see it again.

This season, Marty Booker leads the Dolphins in receiving with 430 yards. Who’s gained the second most for the Dolphins?

a. Derek Hagan
b. Justin Peelle
c. Ted Ginn Jr.
d. Chris Chambers, who played only 6 games, then was traded
e. Ronnie Brown, who isn’t even a WR and was injured for the year in game 7

People have created new shortcuts and acronyms to communicate in the world of e-mails and IM’s.

BTW = by the way
AFAIK = as far as I know
BRB = be right back
AFK = away from keyboard
is a happy face

I just learned a new one today:

FYN

I’ll let you figure out what that means.

If you can’t tell, the trophy’s of some invisible hand about to pour liquid egg product on the smiley’s face. Ha! Hilarious.

The body of the trophy is crafted polyethylene, coated with a layer of gold (paint). The Styrofoam base supports the body, spray-painted to give it a granite-like appearance. The lightweight materials enable the trophy to be easily transported and positioned, even for young children.

The nameplate will be affixed next week once the winner is determined. Rather than using duct tape (which would look incredibly cheap) the nameplate will be bonded to the faux-granite base using name brand Elmer’s glue.

Haven’t voted yet? Cast your vote for the 2007 Liquid Egg Product on the Face Award!

Voting for the 2007 Liquid Egg Product on the Face Award is now open!

Voting will be open until December 18, I think. Technically, it’s a one-person, one-vote, but if you find a way to stuff the ballot box, I’m not going to care all that much.

I will actually attempt to contact the winner to let him know he won…so we’ll see how that goes (apparently there were no worthy female candidates; make of that what you will).

(Jump straight to the voting.)

	Judge Roy L. Pearson: A dry cleaner lost his pants, so he sued for $67 million. Broke down crying on the witness stand when talking about his lost pants. Lost the lawsuit, and his job shortly after. Read more here and here.
	Scot Pollard: Told kids to use drugs on TV. Discovered not everyone appreciated the humor value of the joke. (video)
	Senator Larry Craig: Busted in a sting operation for soliciting gay sex in a public bathroom. Pled guilty; later claimed he was innocent. Generally made a mess out of his political career. (story)
	Jonathan Ogden: Professional athlete who “acted” and “danced” in a car insurance commercial. Pseudo-flexed when the jingle lyrics said “power”. Giggled maniacally at the end of the commercial. Proved even offensive linemen can get beautiful female groupies, of sorts. (video)
	Christopher Emmorey: This bank robber waited for the teller to fill out paperwork during his heist. Teller charged him a $5 service fee for not being a bank customer, and he paid it. Cops overheard him asking neighbors to collude on his alibi. (story)
	Duane “Dog” Chapman: Repeatedly called his son’s girlfriend a n*****. His son secretly recorded one of his tirades and sold it to the tabloids. Production of the TV series starring Chapman has been suspended. (story)

 Loading …

Liquid Egg Product’s M.O. is the unusual, inane, silly, and funny (except maybe for the chess stuff). After some thought, I realized the last post satisfied none of those conditions.

However, I have no energy to get a decent post up today. So, presenting for your consideration…the Meaty Cheesy Boys.

You know when there’s a song you heard a long time ago, you’d love to actually own it, but can’t remember ANYTHING about it?

I heard this song in passing a week ago; it was on a CD my parents had and it was one of my favorites. But I couldn’t remember the name to spare my life…I knew it was something-rrubina or something-rubina (r and rr are considered different letters in Spanish). Eventually, I remembered one of the other songs on the CD, and after poking in the Interwebs and iTunes…ah…there it is…La Bilirrubina (sometimes misspelled Billirubina)…

Other songs I’d recommend (some of these have multiple renditions, so the artist listed may not be the only one)

A Pedir Su Mano (Juan Luis Guerra)
Orgullo de Ti (Pedro Sanchez)
Merengue Passion (Camino De Lobo)
Amor de Mis Amores (Rosario Alvarez, al Sur, and others)