Monday Fighter!
(Monday Fighter! is an allegedly weekly feature which attempts to cheer up or inspire the masses who must start yet another work week. As always, the fortune is photographed on a wooden table.)
Touchdown, Dolphins! Against them!
The road to history remains paved: the Dolphins fell to 0-13, losing by 21 on the road. The Patriots improved to 13-0, winning by 21 at home.
The Fins have looked bad enough the last couple weeks to give me a lot more faith in them (and these games were considered “winnable”. Ha!):
…rookie Dolphins starter John Beck was untouched in the pocket when the ball slipped out of his hand and fell directly into Wilson’s arms, allowing the converted receiver to score his second defensive touchdown this year….
[Dolphins backup QB] Lemon threw two interceptions including one picked off by Whitner after the quarterback attempted a play-action fake with no one in his backfield. [emphasis mine]
But now’s not the time to get overconfident.
The post’s title is a reference to a muffed call by the Dolphins’ radio play-by-play guy some time back; I think it was earlier this season. It was the Dolphins’ opponent that had scored a TD, so he had to quickly cover himself by slapping the “against them” at the end.
Or so I hear.
If anyone knows where I can find an audio clip of that call, please let me know; you will gain my eternal gratitude.
The things I do for my the readers…
If this photo makes no sense to you, read this joker’s comment.
It was a real pain in the butt to get permission from the Egyptian government to use the inside of a pyramid for this pic. I was going to hire a couple of chicks to dress in skimpy ancient Egyptian clothing and fan me with those feather fans, but the plane ticket was so expensive I didn’t have enough money left. I hope you’re happy.
Radio hosts must hate taking callers
Last night, on my way to Fry’s Electronics, a radio program was discussing the relative safety/non-safety of mixed martial arts competitions (MMA). The two hosts, one of them an MMA’er himself, referred to a study that found MMA has three times as many head injuries and concussions as boxing. The study consisted of watching hundreds of matches that took place during a decade period, and recording the results, so it’s not exactly like there’s a huge margin for error.
Two of the first three callers called in attacking the data, saying they don’t see how it could be true. The hosts must have supressed the sighs that I expressed out loud. It’s human nature, I suppose; if we don’t like the implications of data, we tend attack the data. That’s not to say that data-gathering methods shouldn’t be scrutinized and to make sure the research is done properly, but it shouldn’t be the automatic place we go when we don’t like the results.
The hosts mentioned a better way to defend MMA would be to look at fatality rates compared with a plethora of sports. For example, horse racing and college football both have a greater percentage of participants dying than MMA.
You could also go the route of emphasizing the fighters are well-aware that their sport is dangerous, and it’s a risk they’re willing to take. And reiterate that how brutal any sport appears does not necessarily correlate with actual health risks.
Taking up the challenge
Good morning, Mascot. How are you?
Unlike you, I’m not cruelly cracking eggs, then brutally whipping them to make that “scrambled eggs” concoction. So I’m feeling good because I have a clear conscience.
… Yeah, whatever. Got an idea for you. Why don’t you take up the Lorelle on Wordpress weekly challenge, which is to write about something political. It’ll revive your presidential campaign.
Never heard of this Lorelle chick. Is she cute?
I don’t know. Why should you care? And that was an absolute slap in the face to Drunknknite, yesterday, not even spelling his name right.
He’s the one who needs to learn how to spell. And I’m not doing anything political. You know. Because of Chuck Norris.
Wahrheit had a great idea. If he can get Jackie Chan to help out, I’ll talk to Mr. T and Lou Ferrigno. Between those three guys, you should be safe from him.
I don’t think that’s enough…
*sigh* You know the real reason why Chuck Norris won’t kick your butt? Because he doesn’t even know about your campaign. At this rate, you’re going to get like 6 votes come election time. And I’m not one of them.
Did you just say you aren’t voting for me? *whimper*
Yeah, I…oh, good grief. Don’t tell me you’re going to cry! Oh, man. You’re getting yolk all over your shell!
*whimper, whimper*
Oh, all right already! I’ll vote for ya.
Really? Thanks! (Sucker…)
It would be a good idea if you took up that blog challenge thing. Write about something political, so people know you’re serious.
Like about how all the candidates are so worried about their image, so they should vote for someone who keeps it real, like me!
Er…something like that.
Yar!
N00bs.
Hi, it’s the Mascot. I don’t know why I gotta do this, but I’m supposed to.
There are these 3 noobler chess blogs. They’re about chess. Just so you know. I think they’re boring, but I’m supposed to tell you chess people to check them out. Or something. I’m going to take a nap.
Gorckat, Drunknknight, and Chessaholic
Ruined!
Um…remember how I’m running for president? Well, now there’s a big question mark hanging around the campaign (see poster, below).
Check out this video, and see why my presidential run may not be such a great idea…
Chuck Norris is endorsing Mike Huckabee as president! And it doesn’t even matter how bad their commericals are! So what does that have to do with me?
Everything! Isn’t is obvious? Huckabee is going to get Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick all the other candidates who dare oppose him! It may be illegal, but who’s going to arrest him, the SWAT team? They’ll pee their pants when they see their guns are ineffective against Chuck Norris’ bulletproof beard!
So…I’m seriously thinking about bowing out. I don’t need a kick to the shell ruining my perfect complexion.
Square off
This afternoon, I cruised by ESPN, their frontpage splash of a “square off” between the boxers Mayweather and Hatton (they have a match this Saturday). 10 minutes later, I was about to IM Sworn Enemy immaturely mocking the homoeroticism overflowing from the 4-letter network’s website, but alas, the picture had already been replaced by another splash.
Fortunately, and thanks to Sworn Enemy’s mad Google skillz, I’m able to present the following evidence in support of the notion that boxers are no more manly than the rest of us–it appears that these so-called tough guys let all their emotion hang out in public…
Appealing to the lowest common denominator
From Dinosaur Mom: the blog readability test checks what level of reading comprehension is necessary to understand a site. It’s such a warm feeling inside to know a 7-year-old can browse to this site and get what’s going on. Not that the content of Liquid Egg Product is kid-friendly, of course.
From Annie: the Political Compass. Instead of labeling you as left/right politically, this set of questions determines your economic values (socialist vs neo-liberal tendencies) and social values (authoritarian vs libertarian), placing you in one of four quadrants.
If you’ve taken the test before (I did about 6 years ago), a few questions have been added or changed to reflect recent events. Specifically, there’s at least one question regarding terrorism.
It appears that I’m about halfway to being an anarchist.
