84-year-old Robert Mugabe, president of Zimbabwe, is holding a birthday party, and to celebrate, he’s going to run for a 6th term in office. Of course, when your country has been suffering for years from inflation (now 100,000% annually), unemployment (80%) and mass emigration to South Africa, that doesn’t mean you’re unfit for office–it’s obviously the fault of the West.

There will be some token opposition from those like Morgan Tsvangirai and former ZANU-PF finance minister Simba Makoni. (Mugabe derided Makoni as a political “prostitute”.) Of course, most voters will “see the light” and determine that Mugabe is simply bringing the country the long way around to economic prosperity. Or Zimbabweans have long been convinced of the mantra that “might makes right”.

In other news, a bunch of Saudi men were arrested for flirting, “accused of wearing indecent clothes, playing loud music and dancing in order to attract the attention of girls”. Now this seems harsh, but there are some men here who probably deserve to be arrested based on some of the pick-up lines they use.

All the female LEPers I’m aware of are already attached, so unfortunately I will not be able to try some of those lines here.