If you’re one of those people who can’t keep their mouth shut, Happy Mouther Day! They say it’s also Mother’s Day. I don’t know your mothers, but I’ll bet some of them should get Mother’s Day AND Mouther Day cards. My mom isn’t a big talker, so it doesn’t apply to her (Donnie said his mom wasn’t a loud-mouth, but who knows; he might just be embarrassed.)

I decided to get my mom a family portrait from when I was a kid digitized. It wasn’t worth the money to frame and send the picture, so I just told her that she can right-click on the picture and left-click “Save Image As” to save the picture to her hard drive.

: I never knew your mom was an octahedron.

: It’s a recessive gene.

: How come I’ve never seen any octahedral eggs?

: They won’t fit right into the egg cartons.

: Although I already called…Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! (I couldn’t show off a family portrait, because all that stuff’s in Houston, boo hoo.)

There’s been some sort of nerdy chess player dust-up on some chick named Vicary’s blog. FIDE Master Jon Jacobs had the following to say:

They and their blogs carry colorful handles like Liquid Egg Product, blunderprone, Wahrheit, and even Man de la Maza….Less politely, they could be described as a “cult”…

Fellow bloggers, including BDK, Wahrheit, and chessloser went to bat for me, indicating that I am not part of the de la Maza cult.

Unfortunately, Mr. Jacobs is closer to the mark than I’ve been letting on.

You see, last December the Mascot converted to Mazaism, and we helped him build a dark temple in his basement so he could worship the requisite three times a day. (Worship sessions consist of constant repetition of the phrase “de la Maza is teh bomb” while moving around in circles. It’s not my cup of tea, but whatever.)

A couple months ago, FM Jon Jacobs snuck into the Mascot’s basement, snapped some photographs, and threatened to release them to the world if we at Liquid Egg Product didn’t pay up. Even though we’ve been FAITHFULLY paying the hush money every week, he went ahead and PUBLICLY outed this site yesterday.

We’ve stopped the payments, and are looking into ways we can legally recover the blackmail money.

No, the Mascot’s Dark Temple is not available for tours. Sorry.

Yes, there will be a second one. Consider this a place to sign-up. If you didn’t participate last time, let me know your FICS handle as well.

Depending on how many people participate, the format may change. Last time was a round-robin, but there weren’t that many people involved. If participation warrants, there may be a couple sections based on strength. Perhaps even West and East circuits, if there are enough interested Eastern hemisphere residents (or Western hemisphere residents running on East time). But we’ll see about that.

EDIT: Expected start date week of May 18 June 1.

Quick FAQ for those few of you who have no clue what’s going on:

What’s this about?

The Tournament of Lepers is an on-line chess tournament played via FICS, primarily involving those in the chess blogging world. It’s very casual, with one game a week and a time control of 15/30. It’s more an excuse to “meet” your fellow chess bloggers.

How do I enter?

Leave a comment here, e-mail, or on the forum.

Are there any requirements?

You must have an FICS handle (it’s free; visit freechess.org to sign up).

Also, there are no set times for the games–the participants are responsible for setting up a convenient time each week. Most players are from the US, so keep that in mind if you’re not living in the Western hemisphere.

I’m flexible about games being played late as long as I’m kept in the loop.

How much dough does the winner get?

Nothing promised. Allen does offer a $5 McDonald’s gift card for anyone with either an unblemished or completely blemished record. I’ll come up with some sort of prize for the winner. Last winner, drunknknite, received a USCF gift certificate and a chance to cameo in a movie with the Mascot. (He didn’t seem to enthusiastic about the movie, though, probably because it will never get done.)

“Pressed to name an economist who supports her plan to temporarily suspend the federal gas tax, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton said today that commuters, truck drivers and other gas customers know it would make a difference.”

This made me laugh.

(Source)