First, if you are eating or have recently eaten, and have a vivid imagination, it may be best for you to discontinue reading this post. And you are free to kill Allen afterwards, who alerted me to the story.
Our friend Manuel Uribe, who once weighed 1200 lbs or so, is now down to 700. With no sarcasm intended, good for him.
But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still look like this:

It’s already established that he has a girlfriend. And he wants to marry her when he’s actually capable of walking her down the aisle. But what wasn’t clear earlier was how well or poorly they do with all that physical stuff. Now we know:
“We are a couple,” Uribe said. “We have sex, and in the eyes of God we are already married.”
I’ve spent no time figuring out how those mechanics could possibly work. You may want to follow my lead.
Source: 700-pound man’s birthday wish? Marriage