Today, I found out some very disturbing facts. It’s not enough that humans subject billions of eggs to torture by frying, scrambling, or poaching them. Check this finding from some page named CHOW:
At CHOW’s local Safeway, one dozen Grade AA, extra-large white eggs from Lucerne sell for $3.19. Their brown counterparts, same size and grade, go for $3.98 per dozen.
You see, humans not only discriminate against each other, they put a price tag on eggs based solely on the color of their shell. Whites like me get treated like second-class citizens. (Well, actually third-class citizens, since eggs are already considered “lower” than humans. I just found out the other day we don’t have any Constitutional rights.)
The American Egg Board (you’ll find them in the “Enemies” section in the links) is a sadistic organization dedicated to convincing people that eating eggs is healthy. But I can’t disagree with what they conclude: “Eggshell color does not affect an egg’s … quality….”
So stop discriminating against whites. Thanks.
July 25th, 2008
10 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot
Filed under In the News, Uncomfortability
Only one game is not reflected is Wahrheit vs. Wang, and I might have missed that result:
| Dr. Gene Ray Division Standings |
|
CA |
BP |
Pol |
Tom |
Sci |
Total |
CA |
— |
0.5 |
1.0 |
0.0 |
1.0 |
2.5 |
BP |
0.5 |
— |
0.5 |
0.5 |
1.0 |
2.5 |
Pol |
0.0 |
0.5 |
— |
1.0 |
1.0 |
2.5 |
Tom |
1.0 |
0.5 |
0.0 |
— |
1.0 |
2.5 |
Sci |
0.0 |
0.0 |
0.0 |
0.0 |
— |
0.0 |
| Alex Chiu Division Standings |
|
Ivn |
Whr |
LEP |
Wng |
Tak |
Total |
| Ivn |
— |
1.0 |
1.0 |
0.0 |
1.0 |
3.0 |
| Whr |
0.0 |
— |
1.0 |
|
1.0 |
2.0 |
| LEP |
0.0 |
0.0 |
— |
1.0 |
1.0 |
2.0 |
| Wng |
1.0 |
|
0.0 |
— |
1.0 |
2.0 |
| Tak |
0.0 |
0.0 |
0.0 |
0.0 |
— |
0.0 |
So there’s a four-way tie for first in the Dr. Gene Ray division. There’s not an easy way to resolve the tiebreaker either, except for…more games!
This will be a mini-playoff format. If your game isn’t played to a conclusion, just play again until you do reach one. The matchups and colors were determined randomly:
Tom vs Chessaholic
Polly vs Blunderprone
Then the winner of these two games would play, and the winner of THAT game…is the winner of the Dr. Gene Ray division.
In the Alex Chiu division, it’s much simpler. The winner of Wahrheit and Wang would still tie Ivan points-wise. But Ivan’s beaten Wahrheit, so he’d win the head-to-head matchup. But if Wang wins, since he’s beaten Ivan, he’d win the division.
And, uh, congratulations on Sciurus winning a $5 McDonald’s gift card. (Takchess is MIA with a couple forfeit losses, so I don’t think he’ll be claiming his.) If you want to claim it, I’ll get Allen to get in touch with you.
July 25th, 2008
10 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Chess, Tournament of Lepers
