Yesterday, Donnie once again threatened to fire me (he never follows through so it’s not like I’m scared.) Yes, I’ve been lax on the posts BUT I have a realy good reason, per this secretly recording conversation:

: How dare you threaten me! I have a legitimate medical excuse for not working.

: You didn’t tell me that! So what happened?

: Here’s the doctor’s note.

: Let’s see…”gained 15 lbs in the last 6 months”…”causing mental distress, emotional imbalance”…”lack of confidence”…

: Right. So I can’t work.

: …

: What’s wrong?

: This reads like a bad lawsuit.

: What? How dare you. I’ve even developed an action plan to deal with this!

: Really.

: On msn.com they had this tip to lose weight: “Rocky stared at a picture of Ivan Drago every day as he trained to fight the enormous Russian. Find your own motivator: a nemesis like a picture of the way you never want to look.” So I put up a picture of you on my bathroom mirror.