First of all, is anyone really fooled that a modern chemist sloshes mysteriously colored liquids back and forth in test tubes all day? Did the Times’ photographers say, “Hey, look, we have some orange and purple Kool-Aid here, could you pour some into those beakers so you fit our readers’ stereotype of a chemist?”

Hervé This, the founder of molecular gastronomy, has created a completely synthetic meal. It sounds weird, but this is a great hope for the future once we get used to it. Think about it: If these guys can make fake eggs out of chemicals, people might stop killing real eggs. It would be a major step in our quest for equal rights and justice.

But those scientists are probably going to use real eggs for their experiments. In the picture, you can see that chemist apparently shelled a couple eggs alive, and is brazenly torturing the one on the right by crushing him between his fingers. It’s almost like Mr. This doesn’t even believe his test subject is alive.

How can I possibly support such yolk-wrenching treatment of my fellow egg?

If a Major League team finds itself 9 1/2 games out of first place on Apr 20, that usually means it’s not a good baseball team.

It looks the Washington Nationals are starting to figure out a good bullpen is not optional. (And the Marlins would like to thank the Nats for padding their win total.)

And yes, almost every non-Yankee fan enjoyed hearing about that 22-4 debacle.

This week I’m in Miami, and forgot the Monday Fighter! files at home. Monday Fighter! will be back next week.