The truth about the Knights Errant

I’m sorry to have to do this. Some of you will be very angry after reading this, but there are a handful of chess bloggers who have intentionally deceived the rest of us as to their motives for blogging.

Yes, it has to do with some members of the Knights Errant.

I had to pretend to become a worshipper of de la Maza to find out the hidden secrets of this mysterious order.

History:

The Knights Errant was founded in 1320, shortly after the fall of the Knights Templar. Like the Templar, they were created to search for “the Holy Grail” (which is really the bloodline of Jesus — read the Da Vinci Code if for some reason you don’t know this.) Unlike the Templar, they would remain small, practically invisible so they wouldn’t threaten the Church. They invented this game called “chess” and pretended that’s what they were interested in.

The Knights Errant and Freemasons are closely linked. Typically, the leaders of the two organizations have been the same person, except during times where they felt their secret would be compromised.

With the discovery of DNA’s structure in 1953, the Knights Errant realized the ability to clone Jesus was possible, as long as they could find his DNA. And then they could rule the world.

Recent History:

Man De La Maza and Sancho Pawnza are credited with “founding” the Knights Errant, but this was only to draw suspicion away from the true people in power. Did you ever wonder why Blue Devil Knight was considered such a dynamic, charismatic leader? It’s because of the powerful, demonic rituals he performed as Grandmaster of the Freemasons.

BDK is excited about finding a piece of Jesus' DNA
BDK is excited about finding a piece of Jesus’ DNA

A couple years ago, he allegedly retired from chess blogging, but that was only because Dan Brown was watching him too closely. The Masons/Knights Errant decided to temporarily split up the leadership role. So he resigned from being the Secretary of the Knights Errant, but he was still the Grandmaster of the Masons.

The next couple secretaries, Glenn Wilson and Likesforests didn’t do much for several months. It was a pretty slick way to throw people off the trail, but I wasn’t fooled.

chessloser in amazonEvil Masonic rituals assured chessloser would be unhurt by poisoned arrows shot by enraged native tribesmen.

The role of chessloser:

Didn’t anyone find chessloser’s trip to South America strange and suspicious? Well, I did and my investigation did not end up fruitless.

To realize their plans, the Knights Errant needed some secret ingredients found only in rare plants deep in the Amazon. But they couldn’t travel freely in South America due to opposition from the Catholic Church.

So, they decided to get a non-Knight to go down there. chessloser was the perfect agent. They bribed him with beer and porn magazine subscriptions to fight through masses of native Amazonian warriors and shrug off poison arrows to get the rare plants. And he did it.

Blunderprone holds up the Declaration of Independence (artist's rendition)
Blunderprone holds up the Declaration of Independence (artist's rendition)

Future plans of The Knights Errant

Conveniently, Blunderprone seems to want to pick up the mantle. It’s convenient because he lives in Massachusetts, which is pretty close to the Masonic-designed city of Washington, D.C. Once they get the DNA of Jesus figured out, Blunderprone can stop by and pick up the original Declaration of Independence, which has the secret formula to cloning Jesus written on the back. That way they can make the Antichrist in a test tube and start Armageddon so they can rule the world.

It’s pretty obvious, you just can’t trust anyone.

I will probably be dead when/if you read this

The Masons/Knights Errant will probably get this site taken offline and hire the Mafia to kill me off, so I am considering this my farewell. I gave this information to Dan Brown so it will be in his next book.