One of my friends mentioned what song she’d like for her funeral.

So that got me thinking as to how I’d like my death handled. Here are my instructions to next of kin:

• Have the doctors remove my usable organs
• Dump me in some convenient, nearby hole
• Use the life insurance money for a new car or something instead of a funeral

More than likely, someone will insist on an actual funeral and ask me what should be played for the requiem. But by the time of the ceremony, I probably won’t care too much what song’s being played. And if I am caring by that point, please have someone unlock the coffin so I can not die by being buried alive. (It would be depressing to realize no one wanted my spare body parts.) So what I’ll do is have five songs prepared, and the party goers can vote on their favorite upon arrival.

“Safety Dance”, Men Without Hats
“White and Nerdy”, Al Yankovich
“(I Can’t Play) Basketball”, Jimmy Fallon
“I’m Too Sexy”, Right Said Fred
“Grillz”, Nelly

List subject to change over the next 50 years or so. I’ll keep you posted.