Adventures in Chinatown supermarkets

So you go into Chinatown, and there’s simply no avoiding the Engrish. Here’s a few highlights from my last trip:

anti-damp beverage
Dear Chinese readers: what did they actually mean by “anti-damp”?

smock chicken

plastic bruch
These were the most puzzling…an Engrish spelling adjacent to the correct spelling.

sushi bar 1nd floor
Yes, the sign used to say “2nd floor”, and they just covered up the 2 with a 1. Guess they were too cheap to actually buy the “st”.

So the fourth ingredient in these buns is…ingredients. Helpful!

“Obama is considering banning fishing in America.”

As far as I can tell, a lot of the Tea Party rage is because Obama has a “D” after his name. Either that, or he’s a godless Muslim.

Favorite quote: “If we kick them all out, who’s going to pick the fruit???” (around 8:10, slightly deranged-sounding guy talking about illegals)

Link: Tea Partiers In Tax Day Protests Try To Explain Why They’re Against Obama

World Championship Drama

And what would a chess world championship match be without its share of drama?

This year’s match pits the World Champion from India, Viswanathan Anand versus the Bulgarian challenger, Veselin Topalov.

It’s being held in Sofia. For those geographically ignorant, Sofia is in Bulgaria. Bulgaria is in Europe. And for those of you news ignorant, Europe’s air service has been severely disrupted due to a volcanic eruption in Iceland. Because of all the travel problems, Anand asked for the match to be delayed for 3 days so he could arrive with enough time to get accommodated.

As I see it, there’s no problem with Anand asking for the extension; it’s not unreasonable. But the organizers have every right to insist the match starts on time. Chess doesn’t seem to be sponsor-rich or flush with money, so any effort that can be made to reduce the inconvenience for the sponsors should be made.

It should be noted Anand is not flying in from India; he is currently in Germany. There are other options to get to Sofia besides plane. He can find a way.

Link: Anand’s Request For Postponement Refused

Producto de Huevo Líquido para hispanos

¡Hola, comprades! Soy El Mascot y soy el huevo más guapo e inteligente en todo el mundo.

Los huevos de Producto de Huevo Líquido quieren hacer más para la comunidad hispana. Aunque inglés es nuestra lengua primera, sabemos hay mucha gente en los Estados Unidos que hable el español. Así vamos a discutir temas importantes para hispanos. Por ejemplo donde colocarse alrededor de Home Depot en sábados para obtener trabajo. O cómo escaparse de Cuba.

¡Somos mariachis también!


Argggggh. There are reasons why parameterized queries exist. Use them. This is a public website where people need to input data. And don’t ask me if you can store dates as strings in the database. That’s insane, and there will be lots and lots of heartache later. Thank you for listening to this rant, even though most of you have no clue what this means.

(Yes, my level of annoyance has caused me to post this both here and Facebook. Unfortunately, it’s too long for Twitter.)

Oh, yeah…baseball

Baseball started. Another season where people will only notice the Marlins for being an almost viable playoff contender with a stingy payroll. And Mets fans will still be able to console themselves with lording their non-bottom feeder status over the Nationals.

By the basket

This looks like a rip-off of Reassembler’s By the Book post. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about for weeks. How do you explain chess ratings to someone who is familiar with basketball?

Magnus Carlsen: LeBron James (the best player on the planet, but hasn’t won a championship yet)

Super GM: Kobe, Wade, Howard, etc.

GM: Gets non-garbage time minutes in an NBA game

Jacob Aagaard: Shawn Bradley

IM: D-league, or maybe Dorell Wright

Master: Division I college squad

Expert: Transfered to a Division II squad to get playing time

Class A: Varsity high school squad (ie, can get a cheerleader)

Class B: J.V. high school squad (ie, cannot get a cheerleader)

Class C: Middle school squad

Feel free to fill in the rest (the USCF goes all the way down to Class J.)