Fairy tales for kids: Snow White and the Three Eggs

This took me under an hour, so I don’t need reinforcement that it sucks. Here’s the story in case you can’t view the Flash:

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful maiden named Snow White.

The old King wanted to marry her, but she said no.

Snow White ran away into the forest. There, she found three Eggs living in a cabin.

She told them her story and they let her stay.

But the King was mad. He went into the forest to try to catch her.

The three Eggs were ready. They shot lightning bolts using their minds to kill the King.

The next morning, they used his remains plus some leftover chicken for breakfast, creating the first known “Chicken a la King”.

Snow White was so smitten by the heroic and handsome Eggs, she became a polygamist and married all three of them.

So everyone lived happily ever. Especially the Crown Prince, who was relieved to inherit the crown without the guilt of having to personally off his father.

No wonder girls can’t figure guys out

OK, ladies, so…if you’re talking with a guy and he’s mostly looking at your mouth, is he interested or not interested in you?

Naturally, the answer is both. You see, when a guy focuses on your lips, he’s trying to avoid eye contact. Or it means he’s giving a non-verbal cue that he wants to kiss you. It mainly depends on what expert/website you get your advice from.

I could kick Cap’n Crunch’s butt

I think Quaker Oats is ashamed they hitched their star to Cap’n Crunch. But the public clamored for more transparency about this so-called “icon”, and we got this:

4’11” and 102 lbs. (150 cm and 46 kg) Seriously? That guy is a wimp! I could completely kick his butt in a fight. Not to mention in “dueling”, don’t they use guns and possibly kill their opponents? Not the best example for kids.

So, I don’t see why he gets to have his own cereal, and I don’t.

White Lie

So I was walking back home and there was this guy sitting on the sidewalk. As I passed by, he asked for some spare change. I told him I didn’t have any cash.

This was a lie. I had a $5 bill.

Under normal circumstances, I’d gladly have given him the cash, but something changed. Last month, after some calculation, I realized how much I’ve been giving away. Not that generosity is bad; however, it’s really added up.

At 31 years old, I don’t have much to show for financially, except for some retirement savings and enough savings to survive for a few months should I immediately lose my job. I still even have credit card debt (the cards are now stashed behind the potatoes instead of the wallet, so at least they’re not being used). I need to be stingier and think of my own welfare as well.

At the same time, I still feel badly because it’s likely that guy needed a few bucks more than me.

Involuntary goatee

On Monday, I ended up having a seizure in the middle of the open field by my apartment complex. Apparently, no one noticed as there were no paramedics dumping me into the back of an ambulance. I slowly and awkwardly made my way back to the apartment, having to stop once. Some girl saw me and asked if I was OK.

Guess it was because of this giant cut over my lip. It’s probably awkward to shave near there, so for the time being I’m going to stick with this bad goatee:

Frankly, I’m still tired, some of my muscles still ache, and I can’t wait for the weekend to get here.

The coolest things about Shogi

I believe every chess player should learn and play a few games of Shogi (Japanese chess). If you hate draws, like games that encourage attack and want a game computers still suck at, Shogi is perfect. Here’s some of the cool features about it:

Any piece you capture, you are able to bring it back into play on your side. It’s like single-player bughouse.

No matter how tough the defense, a well-executed attack will eventually beat it. A player that does not attack WILL lose.

In an evenly matched game, often both players will end up with imminent checkmate threats. The player with the move is forced to give check every single turn, or lose. These positions are very exciting to play.

Draws occur very infrequently.

It’s nearly worthless to consider material balance; the activity and disposition of the pieces is far more important. Sacrifices are regular and expected features of a match. A handicap of a Rook and a Bishop is a lot in chess. In Shogi, this would not be a huge deal.

In fact, if you gave a handicap of your entire army, leaving just your Jade General (King), you can theoretically still win.

Most pieces are able to be promoted, promotions happen more frequently, and in some cases they are optional. They’re not as game breaking as in chess (something like promoting a Knight or Bishop to a Rook)

In chess, exchanges favor the side with extra material. In Shogi, exchanges can be used to improve a weak position.

Computers aren’t so good at Shogi. Due to pieces coming back into play, there are many more possible positions to consider, limiting the power of brute force searches.

On the economy

OK, so. In the United States we’re fighting about how to deal with the economy, including spending, health care, and all that kind of thing.

If you look at me, I’m considered pretty well educated, reasonably knowledgeable on current events and, unbelievably, a relatively smart guy (if I’m above average, how awful must average be?) But it’s obvious (to me) I don’t have the education or knowledge to have an opinion that’s worth anything. I doubt half of Congress has done sufficient research either, along with 80% of the people that are so sure they know which direction the country should go.

And among the people that know enough to have a decent opinion, they have different points of view because there are reasonable arguments to be made supporting their conflicting opinions.

Economics is not like engineering or (certain) mathematics. We can’t develop precise models and there will always be uncertainty.

I’ve just had it up to here with “liberals are fascist pinko commies” and “conservatives hate the poor and the black”.

Brian Cushing is still trying to convince us he’s innocent

Some months ago, Texans linebacker Brian Cushing was busted for testing positive for a banned drug and received a 4 game suspension.

He ended up saying he feared that he had a malignant tumor that was producing the banned substance. Now he’s trying to excuse the positive test on having trained too hard.

I’m still wondering how he was able to keep his Rookie of the Year award.