If you’re one of those people who can’t keep their mouth shut, Happy Mouther Day! They say it’s also Mother’s Day. I don’t know your mothers, but I’ll bet some of them should get Mother’s Day AND Mouther Day cards. My mom isn’t a big talker, so it doesn’t apply to her (Donnie said his mom wasn’t a loud-mouth, but who knows; he might just be embarrassed.)
I decided to get my mom a family portrait from when I was a kid digitized. It wasn’t worth the money to frame and send the picture, so I just told her that she can right-click on the picture and left-click “Save Image As” to save the picture to her hard drive.
: I never knew your mom was an octahedron.
: It’s a recessive gene.
: How come I’ve never seen any octahedral eggs?
: They won’t fit right into the egg cartons.
: Although I already called…Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! (I couldn’t show off a family portrait, because all that stuff’s in Houston, boo hoo.)
I’m getting a little resentful that the about page still says I only do 2% of the work around here. It’s been days since Mr. Boss gave you a decent post. It’s almost like he was hoping some of you readers would wish him happy birthday, then just took off. Looks like it’s up to me to save the site…
So get this: I was eating lunch last Sunday, trying to decide on my college basketball bracket. I stared into my bowl of Chunky Soup, bending my massive intellect into the task at hand. All of a sudden, I received a flash of inspiration…the chunks of food formed an image of the Virgin Mary! (See picture, below.)
It was obvious: Mount Saint Mary would upset North Carolina. All the other picks just kinda fell into place after that.
Mount Saint Mary ended up losing by 39.
I sold the bowl of soup on eBay for $17. Images of Mary in random objects sure don’t go for as much as they used to.
Dinosaur Mom has given me an official endorsement to be a Vice Presidential candidate to someone. I was a little sad that it wasn’t a full presidential endorsement, but I guess it might be smart to get some more experience first and reduce my chances of being beat up by Chuck Norris.
Anyway, I’m still going to run for president until one of the other candidates asks me to be VP, except if it’s Michael Jingozian. Meanwhile, you can check out mascot08.com to see why I’m better than those other guys, except it’s not finished yet.
Blue Devil Knight is apparently retiring, and I’m still trying to decide whether he’s cool or not. I made a cameo in part 1 of his video review series! Yes, I look smashing in it. But then he thinks Jeremy Silman is cooler than me, so that sucks and I yelled at him for it. At least he likes me a little bit.
Wahrheit is down to 7.3% body fat due to my inspirational presence. And that should tell you something. How much body fat have you lost since you started reading my site?
Do an image search in Google for “best website in the world” (without the quotes so it looks more impressive) Or just click here. Depending on Google’s temperment, a picture of me will show up 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th.
Well, it looks like there’s some more chess bloggers hanging around. Per the Boss, I’m not allowed to say these other blogs are boring and/or sucky (whether or not it’s true), so here’s the scoop.
There’s this Aussie who handles the Lousy@Chess site. He’s made the lame excuse that he’s not awake the same time as everyone else so he can’t play in the Tournament of Lepers. He’s trying to give chessloser and Blunderprone a run for their money at the most self-denigrating name.
Then there’s this Brazilian dude “Sir Augusto” who’s been excited about being a Knight Errant “Inside the black & white jungle”. It hasn’t been updated for a while, so he’s probably too busy chopping down the rainforest or whatever it is they do in their spare time in Brazil.
Samurai Pawn has committed seppuku, completely taking down his site. But it’s not like chess bloggers aren’t a dime a dozen. So to replace him, The Knights of Castle Kimbark by some guy named Tom is noted. It’s not like Castle Kimbark is a real place, so I don’t really get it. Maybe it’s like Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood of Make-Believe.
When I start having little eggs, I’m going to time it so they’re born on Feb 29. That way, I only have to buy birthday presents for them once every 4 years.
Being a salaried worker, I’m working an extra day this year, but being paid the same. There needs to be a little compensation for my extra time.
McDonald’s is selling hamburgers today for 29 cents, as if that makes up for them selling Egg McMuffins.
: I never knew your mom was an octahedron.
: It’s a recessive gene. 
