7 Chess Book Reviews
With apologies, to Blue Devil Knight, sorta.
The rockin’ background music was supposed to be louder. Oh, well.
Why eggs aren’t religious
I’m getting a little resentful that the about page still says I only do 2% of the work around here. It’s been days since Mr. Boss gave you a decent post. It’s almost like he was hoping some of you readers would wish him happy birthday, then just took off. Looks like it’s up to me to save the site…
So get this: I was eating lunch last Sunday, trying to decide on my college basketball bracket. I stared into my bowl of Chunky Soup, bending my massive intellect into the task at hand. All of a sudden, I received a flash of inspiration…the chunks of food formed an image of the Virgin Mary! (See picture, below.)
It was obvious: Mount Saint Mary would upset North Carolina. All the other picks just kinda fell into place after that.
Mount Saint Mary ended up losing by 39.
I sold the bowl of soup on eBay for $17. Images of Mary in random objects sure don’t go for as much as they used to.
Please don’t comment on l3rucewayne’s blog
I’m at my best on l3rucewayne’s site today, in the Recent Comments list. If no one else ever comments on his site, it’ll show me in a tux forever!
Mascot Green Beer
Celebrating St. Patty’s Day tonight? Here’s my special recipe for green beer:
Mascot Green Beer
Ingredients:
Beer
Green Food Coloring
Recipe:
1. Pour beer in drinking receptacle.
2. Put several drops of food coloring in beer.
3. Mix it around with a spoon. A blender is overkill.
4. Get wasted.
Everybody loves me
Dinosaur Mom has given me an official endorsement to be a Vice Presidential candidate to someone. I was a little sad that it wasn’t a full presidential endorsement, but I guess it might be smart to get some more experience first and reduce my chances of being beat up by Chuck Norris.
Anyway, I’m still going to run for president until one of the other candidates asks me to be VP, except if it’s Michael Jingozian. Meanwhile, you can check out mascot08.com to see why I’m better than those other guys, except it’s not finished yet.
Blue Devil Knight is apparently retiring, and I’m still trying to decide whether he’s cool or not. I made a cameo in part 1 of his video review series! Yes, I look smashing in it. But then he thinks Jeremy Silman is cooler than me, so that sucks and I yelled at him for it. At least he likes me a little bit.
Wahrheit is down to 7.3% body fat due to my inspirational presence. And that should tell you something. How much body fat have you lost since you started reading my site?
LEP is the 2nd to 5th best website in the world
Want proof?
Do an image search in Google for “best website in the world” (without the quotes so it looks more impressive) Or just click here. Depending on Google’s temperment, a picture of me will show up 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th.
Finally, getting the recognition I deserve.
Updating the blogroll
Well, it looks like there’s some more chess bloggers hanging around. Per the Boss, I’m not allowed to say these other blogs are boring and/or sucky (whether or not it’s true), so here’s the scoop.
There’s this Aussie who handles the Lousy@Chess site. He’s made the lame excuse that he’s not awake the same time as everyone else so he can’t play in the Tournament of Lepers. He’s trying to give chessloser and Blunderprone a run for their money at the most self-denigrating name.
Then there’s this Brazilian dude “Sir Augusto” who’s been excited about being a Knight Errant “Inside the black & white jungle”. It hasn’t been updated for a while, so he’s probably too busy chopping down the rainforest or whatever it is they do in their spare time in Brazil.
Samurai Pawn has committed seppuku, completely taking down his site. But it’s not like chess bloggers aren’t a dime a dozen. So to replace him, The Knights of Castle Kimbark by some guy named Tom is noted. It’s not like Castle Kimbark is a real place, so I don’t really get it. Maybe it’s like Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood of Make-Believe.
Leap Year Thoughts
When I start having little eggs, I’m going to time it so they’re born on Feb 29. That way, I only have to buy birthday presents for them once every 4 years.
Being a salaried worker, I’m working an extra day this year, but being paid the same. There needs to be a little compensation for my extra time.
McDonald’s is selling hamburgers today for 29 cents, as if that makes up for them selling Egg McMuffins.
Swoon your sweetie
Hey, guys! Were you one of those losers who forgot to give your girl something for Valentine’s? No sweat; I’m here to save your bacon.
First, you need to get a piece of cardboard and fold it in half. Or you can use a postcard.
Print out this first one. Then stick it on the front of the cardboard or postcard. You should use scotch tape instead of duct tape so it looks better. You could use glue, except the paper will crinkle up.
Then put this next one on the back or inside (depending on your style of card).
Your girl will be so impressed, she’ll forget you didn’t get her a real present!
Great Moments in History
J. Robert Oppenheimer was the director of the Manhattan Project. It was intended to develop the first nuclear weapons, as it would have been a Bad Thing if Hitler got them first. I don’t think the Japanese were really trying hard to get them.
By the way, they didn’t call it the Manhattan Project because they tested the first atomic bomb on Manhattan. (There are other explanations as to why it looks the way it does.) And the research took place at Los Alamos Lab in New Mexico, so I’m still trying to figure out what New York has to do with it.
Anyway, that quote from Oppenheimer is from some Hindu scripture or something (the Bhagavad-Gita). According to whoever edited Wikipedia last, it’s not even a very good translation. But it sounds cool, and that’s what he actually said, so we’ll stick with that.
Apparently he got into politics and some people thought he was goofy or rebellious or something. Then he retired.
He was a chain smoker and died from throat cancer at age 62. So don’t chain smoke; it’s even worse than eating eggs, but not by much.
