Tacticus Maximus brought this story to my attention earlier today, about some dude who used a plastic egg as part of a WMD.
While I will not give my personal opinion on the situation, the good people of EETE posted an official release on their website today in the “News” section of eetecares.org.
Over the weekend, I did some thinking and I just needed to face facts: as much as I enjoy you guys fawning over me, I’m just not making enough money. So now I’m working on becoming the official spokesman for the new “diet” company on the market, Mass Managers™! (Their slogan is “Stop Dieting. Start Losing.”; it’s not really a diet, it teaches you how to eat.)
Don’t worry; I’ll still be here, it’s not like Mass Managers™ is a full-time job– it’s mainly posing with weights, smiling bigger in the “after” picture, and tricking people into thinking that Mass Managers™ changed my entire life around. The good thing is that they don’t even make me put on make-up because my face is already perfect.
(Note from Donnie: I’m not really awake right now. Thanks for your understanding.)
Everyone has eggs they’ve met from a long time ago or have some strange or distant connection with. Thanks to my loyal (?) readers, I’ll be able to hook back up with a few of them.
l3rucewayne managed to meet my old high school math professor, Mr. Ahmalette, with balding hair and everything! I don’t know who the guy on the right is, but he looks like a dweeb compared to me (don’t you get puffed up, human readers; he’s still more attractive than 80% of you. Although Annie will never be part of the 80%, wink, wink.)
As mentioned a while back, Dinosaur Mom has a picture of one of my distant cousins. And because I’m not from the Deep South, do not harbor a particular attraction to her (that’s not the best thing to joke about.)
Sworn Enemy sent Donnie a New Year’s post card, which, unbeknownst to them, has one of the kids from my old neighborhood in the back. And of course Donnie won’t be back for another few weeks, so I can’t scan it and show you…dang it.
Since at least one or two of you demanded it, I’ve posted my bio. Hope you’re happy now-.
Philip II of Macedon was the dad of Alexander the Great (how anyone who drunk himself to death by 33 can be considered “great” is a discussion for another day).
There was a wedding in Aegea (that’s the ancient capital of Macedonia) and the king sauntered out unprotected for some sort of diplomatic reasons. That’s when one of his bodyguards killed him, who in turn, got his butt kicked by three of the other bodyguards. I’m not entirely clear on how there were bodyguards but King Philip was unprotected. But you know I got this stuff right, ’cause it’s in Wikipedia.
And sorry Wahrheit, you know I have great respect for you and you have great respect for me, but I couldn’t do the re-enactment you suggested. It’s blasted difficult to sneak atomic bombs by those guards. I’ve got to find a nuclear weapons facility that uses those Wackenhut guys. Maybe next week.
Some people mention problems. Some eggs find solutions.
What happened is that this: Reassembler blabbed about how righties could play Guitar Hero left-handed to stimulate their brains, or some such nonsense. Which lead to a whole bunch of lefties stumbling onto his site looking for left-hand Guitar Hero controllers. Of course, they can’t find what they’re looking for.
Then Donnie recommended Derek create a post that tells everyone where to find one of those lefty controllers. So of course, Derek sloughs the work off on Donnie, who’s probably too lazy to do it.
That means it’s up to me. And based on extensive research I’ve found…
…you’re out of luck. If you want to spend a weekend soldering and stuff, you can make your own, or there’s a lefty option in the game but I dunno how much that helps. It’s too bad you weren’t born normal.
EDIT: Derek, you now have your infinite loop.
Someone suggested I re-enact great moments in history…so on some Mondays I’ll present a Great Moment in History.
Julius Caesar got assassinated for something or the other. And Caesar probably didn’t really say “Et tu, Brute?”; that was some drama Shakespeare added. But still, it gets the point across. Julius didn’t die of pneumonia, or slipping on some ice (that was Dr. Atkins).
If there’s one lesson you can take from this is don’t try to become the emperor of Rome.
See, there’s this race car driver. His name is Dick Trickle.
Is there anybody who has/had a name that generates more uncomfortability? Discuss.
If you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen me at your local night club picking up ladies, it’s because I’ve been doing some research for the website (see picture, above).
After painstaking labor, I was able to ascertain that Liquid Egg Product is the 2,182,289th best website in the world. It would have cracked 2 millionth place if I were featured more frequently, more like 90% of the time.
And it would help if I got a raise, too.
Today is the last day to cast your vote for the 2007 Liquid Egg Product on the Face Award. Although everyone who was going to vote has done so already, I think. And the winner is an almost-certainty. Even so.
If this photo makes no sense to you, read this joker’s comment.
It was a real pain in the butt to get permission from the Egyptian government to use the inside of a pyramid for this pic. I was going to hire a couple of chicks to dress in skimpy ancient Egyptian clothing and fan me with those feather fans, but the plane ticket was so expensive I didn’t have enough money left. I hope you’re happy.
