Everyone has eggs they’ve met from a long time ago or have some strange or distant connection with. Thanks to my loyal (?) readers, I’ll be able to hook back up with a few of them.
l3rucewayne managed to meet my old high school math professor, Mr. Ahmalette, with balding hair and everything! I don’t know who the guy on the right is, but he looks like a dweeb compared to me (don’t you get puffed up, human readers; he’s still more attractive than 80% of you. Although Annie will never be part of the 80%, wink, wink.)
As mentioned a while back, Dinosaur Mom has a picture of one of my distant cousins. And because I’m not from the Deep South, do not harbor a particular attraction to her (that’s not the best thing to joke about.)
Sworn Enemy sent Donnie a New Year’s post card, which, unbeknownst to them, has one of the kids from my old neighborhood in the back. And of course Donnie won’t be back for another few weeks, so I can’t scan it and show you…dang it.
Philip II of Macedon was the dad of Alexander the Great (how anyone who drunk himself to death by 33 can be considered “great” is a discussion for another day).
There was a wedding in Aegea (that’s the ancient capital of Macedonia) and the king sauntered out unprotected for some sort of diplomatic reasons. That’s when one of his bodyguards killed him, who in turn, got his butt kicked by three of the other bodyguards. I’m not entirely clear on how there were bodyguards but King Philip was unprotected. But you know I got this stuff right, ’cause it’s in Wikipedia.
And sorry Wahrheit, you know I have great respect for you and you have great respect for me, but I couldn’t do the re-enactment you suggested. It’s blasted difficult to sneak atomic bombs by those guards. I’ve got to find a nuclear weapons facility that uses those Wackenhut guys. Maybe next week.
Then Donnie recommended Derek create a post that tells everyone where to find one of those lefty controllers. So of course, Derek sloughs the work off on Donnie, who’s probably too lazy to do it.
That means it’s up to me. And based on extensive research I’ve found…
…you’re out of luck. If you want to spend a weekend soldering and stuff, you can make your own, or there’s a lefty option in the game but I dunno how much that helps. It’s too bad you weren’t born normal.
Someone suggested I re-enact great moments in history…so on some Mondays I’ll present a Great Moment in History.
Julius Caesar got assassinated for something or the other. And Caesar probably didn’t really say “Et tu, Brute?”; that was some drama Shakespeare added. But still, it gets the point across. Julius didn’t die of pneumonia, or slipping on some ice (that was Dr. Atkins).
If there’s one lesson you can take from this is don’t try to become the emperor of Rome.
If you’ve been wondering why you haven’t seen me at your local night club picking up ladies, it’s because I’ve been doing some research for the website (see picture, above).
After painstaking labor, I was able to ascertain that Liquid Egg Product is the 2,182,289th best website in the world. It would have cracked 2 millionth place if I were featured more frequently, more like 90% of the time.
It was a real pain in the butt to get permission from the Egyptian government to use the inside of a pyramid for this pic. I was going to hire a couple of chicks to dress in skimpy ancient Egyptian clothing and fan me with those feather fans, but the plane ticket was so expensive I didn’t have enough money left. I hope you’re happy.
Hi, it’s the Mascot. I don’t know why I gotta do this, but I’m supposed to.
There are these 3 noobler chess blogs. They’re about chess. Just so you know. I think they’re boring, but I’m supposed to tell you chess people to check them out. Or something. I’m going to take a nap.
Um…remember how I’m running for president? Well, now there’s a big question mark hanging around the campaign (see poster, below).
Check out this video, and see why my presidential run may not be such a great idea…
Chuck Norris is endorsing Mike Huckabee as president! And it doesn’t even matter how bad their commericals are! So what does that have to do with me?
Everything! Isn’t is obvious? Huckabee is going to get Chuck Norris to roundhouse kick all the other candidates who dare oppose him! It may be illegal, but who’s going to arrest him, the SWAT team? They’ll pee their pants when they see their guns are ineffective against Chuck Norris’ bulletproof beard!
So…I’m seriously thinking about bowing out. I don’t need a kick to the shell ruining my perfect complexion.
