Liquid Egg Product
The Shawn Bradley of Weblogs
"Coach named his starter for Sunday at Carolina, and it's... Not me. Am I surprised? Yes. Am I dissappointed? Yes. Do I wish Romo gets injured or anything? Absolutely."
-- Drew Bledsoe

The Sun-Maid girl finally got some implants

It’s very important for the face of an organization to appeal to the widest audience possible. That’s why me, the Mascot, is the face of Liquid Egg Product.

Sun-Maid has that girl on their boxes of raisins. And she’s alright; she has the whole “farming grapes” thing going. But it’s kinda hard to tell she’s a girl except for a long hair. In fact when I was a kid, I thought she was a male hippie.

So the Sun-Maid company wised up and finally ponied up some money for some breast implants. Check out the difference:

1970_logo

sunmaid big boobs

Would you believe there’s all these people complaining about it? I don’t get what the problem is. Don’t people like looking at big boobs? I know I like big boobs.

December 4th, 2009 10 comments
Posted by The Mascot Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes, In the News

I wish I looked as good as Alex Chiu

“How good I look at age 38 because I used Immortality Rings and Gorgeouspil”

“How gorgeous Alex Chiu is at age 38 AlexChiu.com (2009)”

August 14th, 2009 9 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes

Hot chess player alert!

This is what I’m trying to get through Donnie’s thick skull. He posts this strange article about chess dice. Meanwhile, I’m finding out about the hot female chess players and where you can find them on the web.

This is the kind of stuff you guys really care about. Natalia Pogonina. Hmmm. She’s hot.

Because “management” said this post can’t just be bunch of her pictures, I have to type some stuff. Like mention she’s over 2500 FIDE (whatever that means) and #14 rated female player in the world. And she’s got a few polls on her site. Like this one:

I think they forgot the last choice, so I added it in manually. I sent them an e-mail letting them know, so maybe it will be fixed by the time you see it.

But this poll question I think is very relevant and important:

Now, I don’t go to chess tournaments. But I asked Donnie about the type of chicks you can meet there. He said they are usually either in school, or the moms of the kids. So then I asked if he meant high school or elementary school. He said usually elementary or middle school. So that meant once in a while, a high schooler, right? He said yes, but they are still underage.

So, for me, the whole “practicing sex” thing wouldn’t be lack of desire so much as lack of opportunity.

But if Natalia Pogonina’s there? Yeah, I’ll be like “Hey, babe, I could use the practice!” (not that I need the practice, of course, I’m already so good at it.) Meanwhile, all those stuffy white guys will be too busy studying the Gohraveinchezhumuzhicz Opening to even notice her.

July 24th, 2009 8 comments
Posted by The Mascot Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes, Chess

Babe-off

OK, so I had a disagreement with a friend concerning the relative attractiveness of these two famous ladies. What do you think?

Nancy Grace Sarah Jessica Parker
Nancy Grace Sarah Jessica Parker
   
Which one’s more attractive?

View Results

Loading ... Loading …

October 20th, 2008 7 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes

Complete win

1,000 thanks to Joe Lee of ROTK for this find: “You know you start to wonder what the age of the biochem researchers demographic is when they start releasing ads like this.”: It’s called EpMotion


EpMotion

July 11th, 2008 6 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes, Bad Ads, Burning Agony, Patently Ineffective, Science/Technology, Uncomfortability, Weaksauce Losers

Listen to Wahrheit next time


Donnie

The Mascot
Washington (+4)
vs
Seattle
Seattle Washington
Jacksonville (-1)
vs
Pittsburgh
Jacksonville Pittsburgh
New York (+3)
vs
Tampa Bay
Tampa Bay Tampa Bay
Tennessee (+9)
vs
San Diego
Tennessee San Diego
Record 2-2 1-3

I am so glad I don’t bet on sports.

Speak for yourself.

Wahrheit went 4-0.

I still can’t believe you told people we could win them money last week. Now everyone can see you can’t make good judgments. You’re the kind of guy that would choose Velma over Daphne. We can’t trust someone like that.

Whuh? You mean from Scooby Doo?

Yar, if someone asked you which one you’d rather date, and for normal people (ie, not you) Velma’s just too, well, ugly.

Look, this blog is weird enough without getting into conversations about which cartoon characters are cuter.

I like that Esurance chick.

OK, fine! You’re a cartoon, it makes sense for you! It doesn’t for me!

*Sigh* I guess you’re going to want my picks for next week?

By tomorrow night, if you can.

As long as you don’t lord it over me if I go 0-4 next week.

Sure thing.

You really wouldn’t choose Velma, would you?

Er…yeah…probably I would.

Seriously? *Blanches* OK, that makes things easy…my picks for next week are the opposite of yours.

January 7th, 2008 6 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes, Snake Oil, Sports

From chessloser’s imagination

[Hot and allegedly hot female day, post 5]

Last week, we had a bit of discussion about the drug lordess Sandra Avila Beltrán (half of it about whether she was hot). Chessloser had this bit to add: “i can picture her in tight leather pants, boots, and a machine gun…rrraaawwwrrrr…”

I thought that imagery wasn’t bad, so I put my journeyman’s ability in 3D art to work. It’s not actually Beltrán herself–my skills are too poor to simulate someone’s facial structure, and it would have taken time that I don’t have anyway. The leather is very unconvincing and it seems odd to have metallic boots. Nonetheless, I have no time to redo it. Click on the pic for a wallpaper-size (1280×960) version.

La Reina de la Selva, blog size

October 22nd, 2007 3 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes, CG

Mermaid

[Hot and allegedly hot female day, post 4]

Found on this site. Seems kinda random to me…

Mermaid

October 22nd, 2007 4 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes

Meet my new girlfriend

[Hot and allegedly hot female day, post 3]

Say hi to Kari, everyone!

Kari 3.1

Kari 3.1’s really great, because I don’t have to worry about stuff like buying flowers, deciding on a restaurant, or being bugged about when we’re getting married. Meeting Kari was easy; it’s not like I had to go out and meet anyone, spend time getting to know her, then have the guts to ask her out. Plus I have full control over her personality, appearance and actions. Er…

(BTW, I’m not really using this program. If anyone wants to give it a whirl, let us know how it is.)

October 22nd, 2007 10 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes, CG, Science/Technology, Weaksauce Losers

Argentina will try where France failed

Hot and allegedly hot female day, post 2.

I realize this won’t appeal to those who think females automatically become ugly after age 39. For those of us with more taste, read (and see) on.

Several months ago, Ségolène Royal ran for the French presidency, and lost. She made a point to flaunt her femininity and charm, and undoubted earned herself a few percent of the vote based on that alone.

Ségolène Royal Ségolène Royal 2 Ségolène Royal 3 Ségolène Royal 4

In Argentina, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner will be running for the presidency. Unlike Ségolène, she’s acutally favored to win. I have no idea what her views are or whether she’d make a competent president. I do know that other heads of state wouldn’t mind having closer relations with Argentina if she gets elected.

Cristina Fernández de Kirchner Cristina Fernández de Kirchner 2 Cristina Fernández de Kirchner 3 Cristina Fernández de Kirchner 4

In the United States, our potential female head of state is Hillary Clinton, who is somewhat lacking in the woman-ness department. I heard she showed cleavage once. Her picture is not shown because she’s not even allegedly hot. Well, except Joe D seems to like her.

October 22nd, 2007 5 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Babes & Alleged Babes, In the News