Whoa! My partner’s bi? Maybe that’s why she wanted me to go on the Jerry Springer show with her…
The employees of Akron-Canton airport are incredibly skilled in kung fu, significantly reducing the chances of terrorist activity.
At least the word “Sale” looks nice, and it’s just some local guy scrawling on a chalkboard so maybe the misspelling’s not too surprising.
U-Haul used to have on the side of their trucks the name of a state with a relevant mural. They were attractive and it was always nice seeing another U-Haul with state art that I hadn’t seen before. They’ve started to get rid of the paintings and replace them with an insipid, unremarkable $19.95 per day message. It’s bad enough they eliminated the creativity, but the spelling error is inexcusable…
Never mind that it’s kinda freaky that somehow this company was able to figure out who I am, then ascertain who my acquaintances are. Out of all my friends, these people have determined that ONE of them likes me.
This is not very comforting. (Incidentally, I wonder which one of you it is.)
Have you seen eHarmony.com’s TV spots? They show a bunch of couples, but
1. No interracial couples.
2. Only whites and blacks, and the blacks all pass the paper bag test.
Feel free to contradict if you’ve seen otherwise.
Over the weekend, I did some thinking and I just needed to face facts: as much as I enjoy you guys fawning over me, I’m just not making enough money. So now I’m working on becoming the official spokesman for the new “diet” company on the market, Mass Managers™! (Their slogan is “Stop Dieting. Start Losing.”; it’s not really a diet, it teaches you how to eat.)
Don’t worry; I’ll still be here, it’s not like Mass Managers™ is a full-time job– it’s mainly posing with weights, smiling bigger in the “after” picture, and tricking people into thinking that Mass Managers™ changed my entire life around. The good thing is that they don’t even make me put on make-up because my face is already perfect.
(Note from Donnie: I’m not really awake right now. Thanks for your understanding.)
If you choose the right expert’s picks to bet on, you’ll win money this weekend! (Maybe.)
 Donnie |
 The Mascot |
Wahrheit | |
| Seattle (+8) vs Green Bay |
Green Bay | Green Bay | Green Bay |
| Jacksonville (+11.5) vs New England |
Jacksonville | New England | New England |
| San Diego (+9) vs Indianapolis |
San Diego | Indianapolis | Indianapolis |
| New York (+7.5) vs Dallas |
New York | Dallas | New York |
| Record so far | 2-2 | 1-3 | 4-0 |
Donnie |
The Mascot |
|
| Washington (+4) vs Seattle |
Seattle | Washington |
| Jacksonville (-1) vs Pittsburgh |
Jacksonville | Pittsburgh |
| New York (+3) vs Tampa Bay |
Tampa Bay | Tampa Bay |
| Tennessee (+9) vs San Diego |
Tennessee | San Diego |
| Record | 2-2 | 1-3 |
I am so glad I don’t bet on sports.
Speak for yourself.
Wahrheit went 4-0.
I still can’t believe you told people we could win them money last week. Now everyone can see you can’t make good judgments. You’re the kind of guy that would choose Velma over Daphne. We can’t trust someone like that.
Whuh? You mean from Scooby Doo?
Yar, if someone asked you which one you’d rather date, and for normal people (ie, not you) Velma’s just too, well, ugly.
Look, this blog is weird enough without getting into conversations about which cartoon characters are cuter.
I like that Esurance chick.
OK, fine! You’re a cartoon, it makes sense for you! It doesn’t for me!
*Sigh* I guess you’re going to want my picks for next week?
By tomorrow night, if you can.
As long as you don’t lord it over me if I go 0-4 next week.
Sure thing.
You really wouldn’t choose Velma, would you?
Er…yeah…probably I would.
Seriously? *Blanches* OK, that makes things easy…my picks for next week are the opposite of yours.
Tired of paying money to those handicappers who can’t win you money anyway? (”Call Jonathan Rock Sports now to get the Rock Hard Pick of the week. He feels you can move on this game like it’s already been played!”) Unlike those guys, the experts at Liquid Egg Product give away ALL their NFL playoff picks on their website FOR FREE!
The problem is we couldn’t agree on a lot of the picks. So, uh, just go with the guy you think knows more about football.
Donnie |
The Mascot |
|
| Washington (+4) vs Seattle |
Seattle | Washington |
| Jacksonville (-1) vs Pittsburgh |
Jacksonville | Pittsburgh |
| New York (+3) vs Tampa Bay |
Tampa Bay | Tampa Bay |
| Tennessee (+9) vs San Diego |
Tennessee | San Diego |
| Super Bowl Winner |
Jacksonville | New England |
I debated whether to post this for your consideration. Flagged for language, NSFW (not safe for work), and all that jazz…
Oh, yeah; forgot about this commercial. “Unstoppable. Eli Manning Is. So is his Citizen Eco-Drive.”
Eli Manning threw 3 passes in the second half of yesterday’s game. 2 of them were interceptions.
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