When I was 5, I never even thought about getting to 10.
When I was 10, 15 was inconceivably distant.
When I was 15, 20 represented a new era.
When I was 20, 25 was a modest journey.
When I was 25, 29 was right around the corner.
When I was 29, it didn’t matter. I’d get to 290 because I bought a pair of Alex Chiu’s immortality rings.
(Yes, I’m finally preparing to do that interview with him. And I really just bought a pair.)
If you choose the right expert’s picks to bet on, you’ll win money this weekend! (Maybe.)
 Donnie |
 The Mascot |
Wahrheit | |
| Seattle (+8) vs Green Bay |
Green Bay | Green Bay | Green Bay |
| Jacksonville (+11.5) vs New England |
Jacksonville | New England | New England |
| San Diego (+9) vs Indianapolis |
San Diego | Indianapolis | Indianapolis |
| New York (+7.5) vs Dallas |
New York | Dallas | New York |
| Record so far | 2-2 | 1-3 | 4-0 |
Donnie |
The Mascot |
|
| Washington (+4) vs Seattle |
Seattle | Washington |
| Jacksonville (-1) vs Pittsburgh |
Jacksonville | Pittsburgh |
| New York (+3) vs Tampa Bay |
Tampa Bay | Tampa Bay |
| Tennessee (+9) vs San Diego |
Tennessee | San Diego |
| Record | 2-2 | 1-3 |
I am so glad I don’t bet on sports.
Speak for yourself.
Wahrheit went 4-0.
I still can’t believe you told people we could win them money last week. Now everyone can see you can’t make good judgments. You’re the kind of guy that would choose Velma over Daphne. We can’t trust someone like that.
Whuh? You mean from Scooby Doo?
Yar, if someone asked you which one you’d rather date, and for normal people (ie, not you) Velma’s just too, well, ugly.
Look, this blog is weird enough without getting into conversations about which cartoon characters are cuter.
I like that Esurance chick.
OK, fine! You’re a cartoon, it makes sense for you! It doesn’t for me!
*Sigh* I guess you’re going to want my picks for next week?
By tomorrow night, if you can.
As long as you don’t lord it over me if I go 0-4 next week.
Sure thing.
You really wouldn’t choose Velma, would you?
Er…yeah…probably I would.
Seriously? *Blanches* OK, that makes things easy…my picks for next week are the opposite of yours.
Tired of paying money to those handicappers who can’t win you money anyway? (”Call Jonathan Rock Sports now to get the Rock Hard Pick of the week. He feels you can move on this game like it’s already been played!”) Unlike those guys, the experts at Liquid Egg Product give away ALL their NFL playoff picks on their website FOR FREE!
The problem is we couldn’t agree on a lot of the picks. So, uh, just go with the guy you think knows more about football.
Donnie |
The Mascot |
|
| Washington (+4) vs Seattle |
Seattle | Washington |
| Jacksonville (-1) vs Pittsburgh |
Jacksonville | Pittsburgh |
| New York (+3) vs Tampa Bay |
Tampa Bay | Tampa Bay |
| Tennessee (+9) vs San Diego |
Tennessee | San Diego |
| Super Bowl Winner |
Jacksonville | New England |
Today, I finally did significant food shopping, and randomly, I noticed prepackaged Indian meals by some company called Ashoka (that’s original). Just boil or microwave, and presto, it’s done. Being slightly wary of such products, I bought one of the Palak Paneer variety just to see if the meal would end up tasting non-awful. Well, two actually; it was buy one get one free.
Needless to say, how it looked on my plate was a modicum different than how it looked on the package. And I didn’t get any cute Indian chicks dropping by my place, either. Nonetheless, the quality was adequate enough to keep a couple in reserve for those nights I don’t want to do any real cooking.
Evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry predicts that man will have split into two races within 100,000 years. Apparently, he has read the Time Machine by H. G. Wells.
Bad Science has more to say about the good doctor.
Speaking of time machines…try this idle thought on for size. A time machine will never be invented (note this is different from saying it’s not possible). If it is going to happen, there would have been some time machine user with a desire to visit various eras of the past and make him/herself known to its inhabitants. So we would already know about it.
(Yeah, I’m waiting for the hole-poking.)
From their website today:
Primo Numeri is here and believes that all his sales are prime examples of great savings. Not to be confused with his cousin Cheapano Fibonacci, Primo’s sales consist of only prime numbers.
$2, $3, $5, $7, $8,…
Note to Spirit: 8 is not a prime number. It’s this kind of misinformation that has lead to our nation’s children to the bottom of the barrel in math skills.
Liquid Egg Product proposes a lawsuit in recompense for yet another example of corporate malfeasance, wilful incompetance, emotional rape, and psychological distress. Due to this shoddy, deceptive advertisement, the nation’s schools must spend countless hours reteaching the concept of prime numbers. Young, impressionable students will be hopelessly confused, thus hindering the education they so desperately need. Furthermore, when Americans visit other nations, and mention 8 as a prime number, it will reflect poorly on the capabilities of the nation, influencing foreign public opinion. This will hamper the USA’s already difficult diplomatic efforts.*
Thus, Liquid Egg Product believes some restitution is in order. $67 million dollars should do the trick.
(I wonder if they’ll countersue for using their pic on this site? Or would they be happy for the free advertisement? Or both…)
If you aren’t tired of the war by now, please let me know (apathy doesn’t count). It would be a bit easier to stomach if it looked like the Iraqi government were well on its way to handling its own business. It doesn’t look like that’s happening anytime soon.
If our government is simply willing to spend a little more money, here’s a way it can start to plot a new direction in Iraq.
Short of that, I’d just send in Shaq, Chuck Norris, and the Cheat Commandos, and call it a day.
Maybe God isn’t so harsh after all.
According to the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God (UCKG), when you give to the church, you get. You get a new car. A better job. Riches:
But while many Pentecostal churches preach that God will bless those who make sacrifices — both financial and spiritual, few are as explicit as UCKG, which teaches poverty is unnecessary, and holds special “campaigns” to pray for specific “goals”, like a new car, house or even swimming pool.
They’ve got a point. Jesus must have meant that “blessed are the poor” stuff for those other Christians.
They aren’t afraid to take a page out of the Church of Scientology’s playbook if it means advancing the Word of God:
It has sued several media organizations for publishing what it says are false allegations and warned Reuters it was not afraid to use legal action to correct a “negative story”. When this reporter jotted down a few notes during a UCKG service an usher demanded to see them, and threatened arrest when he was refused.
I was kinda hoping for a Prius rather than a Navara, but beggars can’t be choosers. So to speak. Jesus isn’t going to let me be a beggar.
Reuters: Jesus wants you to drive 4×4, says S.African church
Drug companies constantly strive to develop new drugs for just about any malady or discomfort. Their job is not a trivial one: they must (or are supposed to) develop an effective drug, determine dosage, warn of side effects (”may cause nausea, heartburn or death”), and test whether the drug is safe in the long- and short-term.
Some newer drugs have been developed which are prescribed for child epilepsy, but have not been fully tested for long-term effects, or have not had an appropriate dosage determined for children:
Many medicines are not fully tested on children before licensing, meaning consultants have no official guidance on doses to refer to when prescribing. Instead they often have to estimate a safe and effective dose based on the age and the size of the child.
Which I’m sure is comforting to parents everywhere.
(As for my seizured self, the doctors have prescribed an “old stalwart”: phenytoin sodium, aka Dilantin. It’s been used for decades, so despite a few side effects, I’m probably not at increased risk of spontaneous combustion or offspring growing a third eye.)
