If, at the beginning of the college basketball season, you had told me that Baylor would be a 3 seed, while UConn and North Carolina would not even make the NCAA tournament, I’d ask what sort of alternate universe you came from.

Apparently, we are now part of this alternate universe.

(By the way — and I’m saying this as a Baylor alum — the Bears were seeded too high…they are more like a 5 seed.)

Once again this year, I have a Liquid Egg Product Tournament Bracket“>Liquid Egg Product bracket setup on ESPN. As the number of regular readers has steadily decreased over the past couple years, it should be easier for you to win this year.

As usual, there are no prizes for winning. No media interviews. No glory. Well, maybe a little glory.

Liquid Egg Product Tournament Bracket

Tiki Barber the “Fmr. New York Giants” tells kids: Go do things

I guess this is an improvement over Scot Pollard’s “Hey, kids. Do drugs.”

The New Jersey Nets are a professional basketball team, the 3-40 record notwithstanding.

It’s not abyssmal, but just bad enough so I can watch it repeatedly and keep giggling.

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“Remind me to fart on my father’s arm for making me a Mets and Jets fan.” –Stugotz

“At this rate, Singletary is gonna run out of body parts to show his team”

So one of the wittier ESPN commenters says as San Francisco is down 21-0 at halftime to Houston.

(Referring to this story if you have not been fortunate enough to see it yet.)

It’s 6 minutes into the first game of the season, and they are already down 14-0.

I don’t wanna hear no more jibba-jabba from white eggs who say they’re good at basketball.

(Editor’s note: Not nearly as good as the prior installation of loleggs.)

For the uninitiated: this is the song that plays at Dolphins games after they score a touchdown (even they’re getting destroyed 34-7. The irony of hearing “Miami Dolphins #1″ at these points was surely not lost on anyone but the very young or terminally clueless.)

They even hired T-Pain to hip-hopize it:

But the true evil…well, you know the rumor that by playing heavy metal music backwards, you’d hear Satanic lyrics? It was spread by Don Shula to deflect attention from the Dolphins’ fight song, which played backwards is a chilling combination of English and Demonic tongues:

So. I have to take back what I said about the Mets being better than the Marlins. They’re equally mediocre. Although, the Mets have a four time larger payroll than the Fish, so someone’s not getting their bang for the buck.