"Yep, someone slipped some psilocybin in your Cheerios this morning."
-- Will Leitch

NBA.com has no clue what it’s talking about

Either NBA.com is clueless, or they really respect Gregg Popovich’s ability to change history.

nba is clueless

April 22nd, 2010 no comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Sports

Oh, yeah…baseball

Baseball started. Another season where people will only notice the Marlins for being an almost viable playoff contender with a stingy payroll. And Mets fans will still be able to console themselves with lording their non-bottom feeder status over the Nationals.

April 10th, 2010 no comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Sports

By the basket

This looks like a rip-off of Reassembler’s By the Book post. But it’s something I’ve been thinking about for weeks. How do you explain chess ratings to someone who is familiar with basketball?

Magnus Carlsen: LeBron James (the best player on the planet, but hasn’t won a championship yet)

Super GM: Kobe, Wade, Howard, etc.

GM: Gets non-garbage time minutes in an NBA game

Jacob Aagaard: Shawn Bradley

IM: D-league, or maybe Dorell Wright

Master: Division I college squad

Expert: Transfered to a Division II squad to get playing time

Class A: Varsity high school squad (ie, can get a cheerleader)

Class B: J.V. high school squad (ie, cannot get a cheerleader)

Class C: Middle school squad

Feel free to fill in the rest (the USCF goes all the way down to Class J.)

April 9th, 2010 8 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Chess, Sports

Glory and honour

LEP salutes Robert as this year’s winner of the NCAA bracket contest thing.

Now, you might argue that it wasn’t that tough to win…after all, there were only three contestants this year. Plus, with all the zany results and upsets, the most successful brackets turned out to be more a result of luck than any appreciable skill.

But we at LEP say “Bullocks!” The fact is that the odds were still stacked against Robert, and you can’t argue against mathematics. At 33% chance to win, one would have been wise to bet against his victory. Not to mention he persevered through blood, sweat and tears to achieve this victory over his two vicious rivals.

So we say to you, Robert, knock down a beer, or whatever your favored alcoholic beverage is, and demand from your boss Friday off. You deserve it.

April 8th, 2010 2 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Sports

March Madness

If, at the beginning of the college basketball season, you had told me that Baylor would be a 3 seed, while UConn and North Carolina would not even make the NCAA tournament, I’d ask what sort of alternate universe you came from.

Apparently, we are now part of this alternate universe.

(By the way — and I’m saying this as a Baylor alum — the Bears were seeded too high…they are more like a 5 seed.)

Once again this year, I have a Liquid Egg Product Tournament Bracket“>Liquid Egg Product bracket setup on ESPN. As the number of regular readers has steadily decreased over the past couple years, it should be easier for you to win this year.

As usual, there are no prizes for winning. No media interviews. No glory. Well, maybe a little glory.

Liquid Egg Product Tournament Bracket

March 16th, 2010 12 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Sports

Tiki Barber is a step up from Scot Pollard

tiki barber tells kids go do things

Tiki Barber the “Fmr. New York Giants” tells kids: Go do things

I guess this is an improvement over Scot Pollard’s “Hey, kids. Do drugs.”

February 11th, 2010 2 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Sports

As a reminder…

The New Jersey Nets are a professional basketball team, the 3-40 record notwithstanding.

January 24th, 2010 no comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Patently Ineffective, Sports, Weaksauce Losers

Troy Polamalu is such a bad actor

It’s not abyssmal, but just bad enough so I can watch it repeatedly and keep giggling.

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The comment section has been fixed so that threaded comments actually appear legible. And now include Gravatars!

November 5th, 2009 2 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Bad Ads, Sports

Thought for the day

“Remind me to fart on my father’s arm for making me a Mets and Jets fan.” –Stugotz

November 3rd, 2009 no comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Patently Ineffective, Sports

“At this rate, Singletary is gonna run out of body parts to show his team”

“At this rate, Singletary is gonna run out of body parts to show his team”

So one of the wittier ESPN commenters says as San Francisco is down 21-0 at halftime to Houston.

(Referring to this story if you have not been fortunate enough to see it yet.)

October 25th, 2009 3 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Sports, Weaksauce Losers