Rasputin was this weird mystical dude who had mystical powers over the last Tsarina of Russia. He had this weird scraggly beard, too; unfortunately the prop that I used had hair too thick so it’s not realistic. (It was a rental so I couldn’t rip out half the hairs as I would have liked.)
This guy is kind of mysterious. He was supposedly some combination of mystic, priest, healer, hypnotist, manipulator. Pretty much a perfect topic for the late-night Coast to Coast radio program with George Noory.
During WWI, Rasputin claimed that the Russian army would not win unless Tsar Nicholas II took command of the army. That was pretty much asking for it because the Tsar didn’t know anything about that stuff. But maybe he just wanted more power, ’cause he exerted an undue influence on the Tsarina while Nick was at the front. And got more power.
To make a long story short, a lot of people didn’t like him, and he got assassinated.
July 3rd, 2008
3 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot
Filed under History
Some Polish military leaders will resist replacing cossacks with tanks
The new Polish government is less open to the United States’ suggestion of placing a missile shield on its soil. Polish Prime Minster Donald Tusk is asking for a reward, military modernization, in exchange for allowing the American defense system to be set up in Poland. While the US wasn’t expecting that sort of pushback, officials admitted it was pretty smart of those guys to try to grab what they can.
Poland hasn’t bothered to upgrade its army since the Crimean War, so they still pretty much use cossacks, mounted cavalry units. An anonymous Bush administration official remarked, “No offense to the Poles–I mean, they’re great people who make a great sausage–but no wonder the Germans beat them in, like, two days in World War II.” Mr. Tusk has done nothing but agree, summarized by the direct statement, “To put it bluntly, cossacks aren’t that effective against aircraft.”
His attitude towards national defense is a stark contrast to the former administration of Jaroslaw Kaczynski, who believed that cossacks would be “good enough if our sovereignty is threatened, at least until the rest of NATO arrives. But the French don’t count.”
Putin is disappointed all the army’s time spent learning how to defeat cavalry formations will go for naught
While Prime Minister Tusk can go ahead and say what he jolly well pleases, he risks the fury of the generals leftover from Mr. Kaczynski’s government. If the cossack units are eliminated, the army will have a significant problem with getting rid of the horses, causing no end of conflict with local chapters of PETA.
Russian president Vladimir Putin expressed dismay that the improved Polish armed forces will reduce the scope of his country’s “potential expansion”. He did concede, however, that such expansion wouldn’t be happening anyway until the Russian navy figured out how to stop sinking its own subs.
Source: US ‘to modernise Polish military’
March 29th, 2008
7 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under History, In the News
J. Robert Oppenheimer was the director of the Manhattan Project. It was intended to develop the first nuclear weapons, as it would have been a Bad Thing if Hitler got them first. I don’t think the Japanese were really trying hard to get them.
By the way, they didn’t call it the Manhattan Project because they tested the first atomic bomb on Manhattan. (There are other explanations as to why it looks the way it does.) And the research took place at Los Alamos Lab in New Mexico, so I’m still trying to figure out what New York has to do with it.
Anyway, that quote from Oppenheimer is from some Hindu scripture or something (the Bhagavad-Gita). According to whoever edited Wikipedia last, it’s not even a very good translation. But it sounds cool, and that’s what he actually said, so we’ll stick with that.
Apparently he got into politics and some people thought he was goofy or rebellious or something. Then he retired.
He was a chain smoker and died from throat cancer at age 62. So don’t chain smoke; it’s even worse than eating eggs, but not by much.
February 12th, 2008
10 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot
Filed under History
Philip II of Macedon was the dad of Alexander the Great (how anyone who drunk himself to death by 33 can be considered “great” is a discussion for another day).
There was a wedding in Aegea (that’s the ancient capital of Macedonia) and the king sauntered out unprotected for some sort of diplomatic reasons. That’s when one of his bodyguards killed him, who in turn, got his butt kicked by three of the other bodyguards. I’m not entirely clear on how there were bodyguards but King Philip was unprotected. But you know I got this stuff right, ’cause it’s in Wikipedia.
And sorry Wahrheit, you know I have great respect for you and you have great respect for me, but I couldn’t do the re-enactment you suggested. It’s blasted difficult to sneak atomic bombs by those guards. I’ve got to find a nuclear weapons facility that uses those Wackenhut guys. Maybe next week.
January 23rd, 2008
19 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot
Filed under History
Someone suggested I re-enact great moments in history…so on some Mondays I’ll present a Great Moment in History.
Julius Caesar got assassinated for something or the other. And Caesar probably didn’t really say “Et tu, Brute?”; that was some drama Shakespeare added. But still, it gets the point across. Julius didn’t die of pneumonia, or slipping on some ice (that was Dr. Atkins).
If there’s one lesson you can take from this is don’t try to become the emperor of Rome.
January 14th, 2008
10 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot
Filed under History
There was a piece in the Scotman last year about Stalin’s experiments with creating an ape-man hybrid for use as an ultimate warrior. A History Channel piece last night cast doubt on that assertion, and apparently Stalin had no use or desire for such experiments.
The show claimed Dr. Ilya Ivanov really did attempt creating the hybrid, but without specific direction from the government. Stalin did give Ivanov a scientific grant, but he gave out a lot of cash to anyone who was trying to advance science, so the money didn’t imply Stalin’s personal interest in that particular project. Ivanov’s main motivation was to curb the influence of the strong Russian church, from which he was afraid of persecution.
A small amusing portion towards the end involved a scientist questioning whether humans were indeed the most intelligent species on the planet. He said something to the effect of “I may be able to do calculus and play the piano, things that we’d associate with intelligence, but how useful would they be in the jungle?”, and so forth.
Look, in the last 10,000 years, humans have developed stuff like writing, agriculture, the crossbow, the Theory of Relativity and have walked on the moon. The extent of our closest competitors’ technology is using pointy sticks as weapons. Chimps and gibbons may be smart, but they’re not THAT smart.
January 3rd, 2008
5 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under History, Science/Technology
l3rucewayne, I’m sorry that you lost.
Likely, many of you have seen this already…in fact, I may have shared this on my old blog (which I gave up trying to retrieve a few months ago–there were only a few truly memorable posts, anyway). [The Mascot says: It's not like there've been any memorable posts on this site, either. Well, except the ones I'm in.]
Anyway, it’s the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny! Right up your alley if you’re interested in seeing whether Abraham Lincoln can knock off Batman. Just watch it. It’s weird and wonderful.
November 8th, 2007
5 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Entertainment, History
ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHH! NO! UGH!
I forgot to make a theme for United Nations Day!
On this day in 1945, the United Nations was formed. In honor of this holiday, today’s look was [supposed to be] redone to simulate a UN vehicle. We’ll celebrate the impact the United Nations has had in our world today, and what they’re doing to continue to keep us safe.
Here are some ways you can celebrate:
- Wear a baby blue pith helmet, just like a real peacekeeper.
- If you see a robbery, debate with your friends for 2 hours before deciding whether to call the police.
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen, but show up after they’re closed.
- Tell a homeless guy that you and your friends will give him $5. Then one of you contributes 72 cents, and the rest don’t contribute at all.
How will YOU celebrate United Nations Day?
October 24th, 2007
2 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under History
Fred Kaplan of Slate has a fun article, Who Disbanded the Iraqi Army? These excerpts frighten me:
“The policy had been to keep the [Iraqi] army intact; didn’t happen,” Bush told Draper. Asked how he had reacted to Bremer’s reversal, Bush replied, “Yeah, I can’t remember. I’m sure I said, ‘This is the policy, what happened?’ “
Many stories have since been told about the dysfunctional nature of the Bush administration—the many instances when a decision would be made, in some cases by the president himself, only to be reversed or simply ignored by (most often) Rumsfeld and/or Cheney.
Despite the almost-certainty that John Kerry would not have been a great president, there are too many times when I wish he (or Gore in 2000) had won.
A week before the 2004 election, I’d planned on voting Kerry (see Kerry Haters for Kerry!), some reasons being it was time for a different face for international relations, not to mention Bush isn’t exactly president material. But when I saw that JFK wasn’t beating a weak GWB, that frightened me. How competent could someone be who has a tough time convincing people he’s better than Bush? Throw in that a couple Supreme Court justices would probably die soon, my decision was sealed (at that point, I’d rather have had the next justice be conversative). I voted for Bush.
If I had cast the election in its proper light—not Bush vs Kerry, but Kerry/Edwards vs Cheney/Rumsfeld—the decision would have been more obvious and less agonizing.
September 10th, 2007
12 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under History, In the News, Weaksauce Losers
This phrase appears in an article by Gregg Easterbrook from the unfathomably distant 1980, describing the financial disasters of the Space Shuttle program even before the first shuttle had taken off.
As it turns out, NASA’s concept of “success-oriented planning” needed a little tweaking to be useful in the real world:
But NASA had made its $5 billion to $6 billion projection based on “success-oriented planning.” That means it assumed everything would work the first time. Budgets were drawn as if redesigns would never be needed, as if no contingencies would arise, as if 520-second engine tests could be conducted with 300-second tanks.
Of course, NASA planners knew everything would not work the first time.
When a phrase sounds like gobbledygook, it probably is gobbledygook.
August 14th, 2007
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under History, Science/Technology
