On a normal day at the office, there are 3 to 5 people in our department here. We all have plenty of job security.
Today, it’s just me. On Friday, it’s most often three people. However, the department head will be at a meeting out of the area all day, and the other guy took a vacation day. Furthermore, this morning I had a conference call with programmers from India. So, yeah, this was one of the worst possible days to schedule that.
It took 2 hours for me to solve the programming problem that should have taken 30 minutes, and I managed to look like a complete moron on the phone with a passenger because I couldn’t get information on when a flight left. Plus, we normally send a report in the morning which was obviously delayed, receiving an e-mail about when that was going to be finished. And I think it had some slightly inaccurate information (they will be bugging me pretty soon, methinks.)
Looking at this flight manifest (list of passengers), at the bottom it states that an asterisk by the passenger name “indicates babe in arms”. While there were no passengers denoted with an asterisk this time around, the whole concept should make all of us a little uneasy…
October 26th, 2007
3 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Grilled Cheese, Patently Ineffective
Cry into your beer, Miami Heat fans. Michael Doleac is no longer with the Heat.
Unfortunately, this means no more slow, chunky white guy to be entertained by the few minutes he gets his third-string center self on the court. However, the Heat did get Mark Blount in return. My co-worker Celtics fan tells me Blount is a slow, chunky black guy, a role I felt Shaq was filling just fine.
October 24th, 2007
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Patently Ineffective, Sports
An e-mail spammer finally wrote from a bank that I actually have dealings with, so I was tricked into taking a second to scan it:
Wellsfargo Bank, is here by announcing the Newa Security Upgrade
in this day’s,We’ve upgraded our new SSL servers to serve our customers for a better and
secure banking service against any fraudulent activities.
Strangely, I got almost the same exact e-mail from someone else, except the English is a bit better:
HSBC Internet Banking, is here by announcing the New Security Upgrade.
We’ve upgraded our new SSL servers to serve our customers for a better and
secure online banking service, against any fraudulent activities.
Meanwhile, the spam comments have mysteriously dropped to a mere tickle. Derek must have gotten rid of all those meds.
October 19th, 2007
3 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Patently Ineffective
A gun may be a necessary, but not sufficient component of successfully robbing a karate school. These karate students used their skills to disarm a would-be robber and send him to the hospital.
Not just in the movies: A blind guy used judo to pin some punk teen who punched him in the face and tried to mug him.
October 19th, 2007
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Patently Ineffective
According to some poll, 76% of Americans plan on avoiding purchasing Chinese-made toys this year. I’ll give you a sec to think about why that poll is useless.
…..
OK, rant time:
What percentage of respondents would have thought about boycotting Chinese toys if they weren’t asked the poll question?
Are there any toys NOT made in China?
And in real life, how many people are going to pick up some Dora the Explorer Product X and actually bother to read which country it was manufactured in?
October 17th, 2007
2 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Patently Ineffective
Yay! It’s me, everyone’s favorite egg, the Liquid Egg Product Mascot, and I’m out of the hospital. Whoopee! (Check out my recent picture at the top right. I look as good as new!)
Anyway, um, Donnie said I should write about some relevant, newsworthy topic, so let’s see…oh, Isiah [sic] Thomas. He’s always fun!
Isiah [sic] Thomas and the Madison Square Garden were found guilty of sexual harassing former MSG executive Anucha Browne Sanders, and the Garden has to cough up over $10 million. If the judge really wants to make a statement, he’ll make MSG pay in euros instead of dollars.
Isiah [sic] Thomas needs to hire some smart lawyers next time.
The slam-dunk ruling in Manhattan Federal Court was stunning setback for Thomas and MSG boss James Dolan, whose lawyers were so confident of winning they wrapped up their defense early - and didn’t bother putting their last six witnesses on the stand.
Idiots. Here’s all they had to do: they’re defense lawyers, which means they’re scum anyway. They had nothing to lose by going the lowbrow route:
Defense lawyer: Your honor, I called Ms. Sanders to the stand not to question her, but to make sure everyone sees her in good lighting conditions.
Judge: And what relevance does this have to the case?
Defense lawyer: The relevance, your honor, is this: does she look like a woman anyone, much less Isiah [sic] Thomas, would want to sexually harass?
Judge: [ponders briefly, then throws down the gavel] Case dismissed.
That would have convinced me.
October 3rd, 2007
6 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot
Filed under Patently Ineffective, Sports, Weaksauce Losers
Yesterday afternoon was the last home game for the Florida Marlins this season. If you don’t care, that’s all right, because Miami doesn’t care either.
At no time was this more striking than a couple weeks ago, when the almost equally poor Washington Nationals came into town for an afternoon game:
When Byung-Hyun Kim threw the first pitch, 375 spectators could be seen. That is what happens when two of the worst teams in baseball meet for a 1:05 p.m. game on a 91-degree September afternoon.
“It’s a little sad when you can pretty much count how many people are in the stands,” Marlins first baseman Mike Jacobs said.
When one of the players cussed after striking out, it was clearly heard over the television, and the broadcasters had to apologize.
Granted, I felt bad for the Marlins, but not so much as to make the effort to go to at least one game this year. It’s hard to want to go when the parking costs more than the tickets.
September 28th, 2007
no comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Patently Ineffective, Sports
For those of you who care, the world chess championships are in progress, and if things hold as they have been, the current champion Vladimir Kramnik will lose his crown to Vishawanthan Anand. Anand is comfortably ahead of the field, having a lead of 1.5 games with 3 rounds left to play.
While Anand won his 11th round game, Kramnik accepted a draw after only move 13 (and if this is Grandmaster chess, I don’t want any part of it). One of reasons: “I felt it would be somewhat insulting to reject a draw because my opponent is very strong.”
Dude, you’re playing to win the world friggin’ championship of chess, and now you’re desperately far behind. Don’t you have to at least try to score the full point instead of agreeing to a 13-move draw? And you’re sitting there worried about your opponent’s feelings!
Out of the Ether put it very well: “I think what I’m coming away with here is that one has to fight to win.”
September 27th, 2007
2 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Chess, Patently Ineffective
Bumper sticker seen on the road:
Undoubtedly, this was someone who believes the term “animal” is defined as a living being that’s either a dog, cat, or parrot. (Yes, I’m aware parrots have feathers, not fur.)
This isn’t getting anyone who doesn’t care about animal rights to hop on the bandwagon.
September 13th, 2007
2 comments
Posted by Donnie
Filed under Patently Ineffective
