I’m sorry to have to do this. Some of you will be very angry after reading this, but there are a handful of chess bloggers who have intentionally deceived the rest of us as to their motives for blogging.

Yes, it has to do with some members of the Knights Errant.

I had to pretend to become a worshipper of de la Maza to find out the hidden secrets of this mysterious order.

History:

The Knights Errant was founded in 1320, shortly after the fall of the Knights Templar. Like the Templar, they were created to search for “the Holy Grail” (which is really the bloodline of Jesus — read the Da Vinci Code if for some reason you don’t know this.) Unlike the Templar, they would remain small, practically invisible so they wouldn’t threaten the Church. They invented this game called “chess” and pretended that’s what they were interested in.

The Knights Errant and Freemasons are closely linked. Typically, the leaders of the two organizations have been the same person, except during times where they felt their secret would be compromised.

With the discovery of DNA’s structure in 1953, the Knights Errant realized the ability to clone Jesus was possible, as long as they could find his DNA. And then they could rule the world.

Recent History:

Man De La Maza and Sancho Pawnza are credited with “founding” the Knights Errant, but this was only to draw suspicion away from the true people in power. Did you ever wonder why Blue Devil Knight was considered such a dynamic, charismatic leader? It’s because of the powerful, demonic rituals he performed as Grandmaster of the Freemasons.

BDK is excited about finding a piece of Jesus’ DNA

A couple years ago, he allegedly retired from chess blogging, but that was only because Dan Brown was watching him too closely. The Masons/Knights Errant decided to temporarily split up the leadership role. So he resigned from being the Secretary of the Knights Errant, but he was still the Grandmaster of the Masons.

The next couple secretaries, Glenn Wilson and Likesforests didn’t do much for several months. It was a pretty slick way to throw people off the trail, but I wasn’t fooled.

Evil Masonic rituals assured chessloser would be unhurt by poisoned arrows shot by enraged native tribesmen.

The role of chessloser:

Didn’t anyone find chessloser’s trip to South America strange and suspicious? Well, I did and my investigation did not end up fruitless.

To realize their plans, the Knights Errant needed some secret ingredients found only in rare plants deep in the Amazon. But they couldn’t travel freely in South America due to opposition from the Catholic Church.

So, they decided to get a non-Knight to go down there. chessloser was the perfect agent. They bribed him with beer and porn magazine subscriptions to fight through masses of native Amazonian warriors and shrug off poison arrows to get the rare plants. And he did it.

Blunderprone holds up the Declaration of Independence (artist's rendition)

Future plans of The Knights Errant

Conveniently, Blunderprone seems to want to pick up the mantle. It’s convenient because he lives in Massachusetts, which is pretty close to the Masonic-designed city of Washington, D.C. Once they get the DNA of Jesus figured out, Blunderprone can stop by and pick up the original Declaration of Independence, which has the secret formula to cloning Jesus written on the back. That way they can make the Antichrist in a test tube and start Armageddon so they can rule the world.

It’s pretty obvious, you just can’t trust anyone.

I will probably be dead when/if you read this

The Masons/Knights Errant will probably get this site taken offline and hire the Mafia to kill me off, so I am considering this my farewell. I gave this information to Dan Brown so it will be in his next book.

The Orthodox Jews of the Neturei Karta (”Guardians of the City”) believe that the true state of Israel cannot be established until the return of the Messiah. And “state” is actually a wrong word choice there. They not only believe today’s Israel is illegitimate, they do not even accept the concept of a Jewish state as being consistent with the Torah!

They consider Zionists to be usurpers of Judaism, and advocate the view that the Palestinians are rightful possessors of Israel’s land..

There’s some more history that I need to study, but this is not the only group who mentions that Zionism is a century-old movement only superficially interested in spiritual matters. Throw in the secularness of modern Israel and other circumstantial factors, the idea that Israel is far more a political than divine creation makes a lot of sense. Or, if you take the point of view that God is responsible for the state’s creation, it does not mean this state of Israel is the same Biblical Israel He made promises to.

Side note: to obtain the borders most traditionally accepted as granted by God (at least, in U.S. Baptist or similar type churches), Israel would need to conquer parts of Jordan, Syria, the Sinai (Egypt), and perhaps Lebanon.

More: About the Neturei Karta

Some atheists hold Richard Dawkins in such reverence, I wonder if they have not simply substituted one god for another.

“But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in My name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or who speaks in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die.” — Deuteronomy 18:20

It’s generally understood that Benny Hinn and Pat Robertson are false prophets, except by their committed followers. The verse above indicates God says the punishment for false prophecy is death.

So here’s a question: should Bible believers be actively working towards executing Hinn and Robertson?

Some would say the verse refers to a divine slaying, not humans carrying out an execution. But Hinn and Robertson have been falsely prophesying for decades without being struck by the apocryphal lightning bolt. And Robertson is already 79 years old, clearly enjoying a long life.

Most Christians would say the various death and stoning punishments in the Torah simply don’t apply today. Yet many will invoke the Ten Commandments. Both sets of laws were directed towards ancient Israel. If these handful of verses apply today, why not the whole Torah? What about the 4th commandment (not working on the Sabbath day), which is mostly ignored?

And this segues into wanting to post the Ten Commandments in U.S. schools and government buildings. Oh, dear. At best, it’s mere window-dressing indicating the U.S. is a nation full of nominal Christians. At worst, it’s a clear violation of the Constitution stating the government must be religiously neutral.

At around 2:00, Benny Hinn declares he is God. Those Norelco shavers must have done wonders on His beard.

Stories about “miracle” Mary sightings make me barf. But this one was worth it just to be able to write that headline.

Jack T. Chick is a name I’ve not heard for some time. He’s famous for his tracts.

Probably the most famous one is “This is Your Life”, one of his older creations (the website says copyright 2002, but it’s far older than that). It contained a simple story contrasting how two men lived their lives, clearly presenting the basics of Christianity.

Then there’s “The Last Generation”. Even for someone familiar with the theology of the Rapture and Tribulation, it was bizarre, confusing and ridiculous. (If you do go read the whole thing, count the number of digs he takes at Catholicism.)

The story includes a boy wearing a neo-Nazi school uniform who learns how to sacrifice pets in class. Like I said, utterly bizarre.

You know he's evil, 'cause he's bald, dressed like one of the X-Men, and offering free drugs.

The most frightening dystopias have some connection to reality. This aspect is not captured here.

(The boy vaguely resembles me when I was about 6, but in looks only. I wasn’t into cussing and animal sacrifice.)

“The Bible is not less valid just because some of it isn’t true or factual.”

Found in the comments of the article 15 Answers to Creationist Nonsense. Of course, it’s a raging evolution vs. creation debate. LEP will refrain from fruitlessly commenting.

No clue where I found this.

There’s been speculation how Obama could possibly be the Antichrist, because of his hypnotic hold on people worldwide. And his Muslim dad. Obama says he’s Christian, but is he really? The GOP wants you to keep speculating to get more votes, BTW.

(Polite society doesn’t say this, but the insinuation’s probably easier because Obama’s not white-skinned, so he doesn’t look like most of us Americans.)

But if Obama were the real Antichrist, would it be so obvious? Would millions of people immediately become suspicious?

I propose that the real Antichrist would be more subtle than that. Someone who has even greater worldwide appeal and would be a much better deceiver. Someone who no one would suspect, because he never talks politics. So he could work his master plan behind the scenes. Someone whose name is nowadays mostly associated with hokey underwear commercials rather than any governmental power.

I am talking, of course, about Michael Jordan.

Additional Reading: Is Barack Obama the Anti-Christ?