OK, so. The Washington Times doesn’t seem too happy about the US military slowly becoming more tolerant towards gays. The title of their article is “Military indoctrinated on gays kissing, behavior“. Either they are not trying to hide their bias, or are very bad at doing it.

But what was really amazing was the vitriol in the comments section. (Apparently, openly gay soldiers will try to have sex with everyone in the unit they can.)

I would like to ask those people to go find out about a military that has allowed gays for a while, and see how big of a “problem” it is. Let’s say, the Israel Defense Forces, as a lot of those people likely think Israel is the best invention since sliced bread.

Source: Military indoctrinated on gays kissing, behavior

So there was this skit on some German comedy show called “Bernie und Ert”.

It’s twisted (and certainly not for the kids) but strangely entertaining. There are a handful of episodes that were translated into English, including the following:

Bernie und Ert – Karate

I don’t have any hijinks this year, so we’ll go with this clip from The Office (UK version). Not for the kids.

The Mascot has been suspended with pay while being investigated for sexual harassment. He is alleged to have been sending cellphone pictures of his penis to Shelly, the female staffer of LEP.

While Shelly herself has so far refused to corroborate the story, the third-party source is considered highly reliable.

It’s further rumored that the Mascot mentioned something about wanting to be “just like my hero, Brett Favre”, but these could not immediately be confirmed.

Stay tuned for further updates as this story develops. Our source is supposed to send the alleged photos later tonight.

“Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters”. It’s hard to believe this wasn’t on purpose. (source)

So I was helping to babysit a couple kids, one of them a three-year-old boy. And I really needed to go number one. Even though he surely would have survived me not watching him the two minutes it takes to urinate, I figured it’s better to have the best of both worlds. Why close the bathroom door when I could keep it open and keep an eye on him at the same time?

So I walked to the toilet, and he predictably follows through the open door. “No big deal, it’s just a kid,” I reiterated mentally, whipping out my manhood to complete the call of nature. What I didn’t expect is the kid’s reaction. His eyes widened, and he started to reach out towards my crotch. By this time, the urine had started to flow, so there wasn’t a convenient way to dodge or cover up. Fortunately, he ended up merely pointing at it (granted, the tip of his finger was only 5mm away from actual contact).

Belatedly, I realized that my penis would look absolutely huge to the underdeveloped version he currently has as a three-year-old. No wonder he was enthralled.

By the time I finished peeing, my penis’ hypnotic grip over the kid was broken. The stench from the urine in the toilet extracted a cry of “Stinky!” from him, so I flushed the toilet and zipped up. Any uncomfortability wafted away like a corpse’s stench whisked off by a refreshing zephyr.

Screenshot from the recent chess world championship’s official website. The “ass. prof.”‘s last name is also strangely appropriate.

In a poll last month, 75% of you said Liquid Egg Product should have a theme song. You will live to regret that decision.

(Click on the image to hear the song.)

: For those of you who voted that we should have a theme song? I hate you.

: Don’t mind Donnie. He’s just mad I got to star in the video, not him. That’s because I have the genetics for good looks, singing, and dancing.

: Check out my massive muscles, fool!

: May is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month. Granted, we worked very hard on this production, but I’m not sure my participating in this video helps the cause.

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably thought to yourself, “Hey, I wonder when Liquid Egg Product is going to get us some good breast milk stories.” Well, today’s your lucky day…

Breast milk can be used as a cheese: The couple has further plans to create a gelato.

Breast milk can repel the opposite gender: And considering the number of caddish males, this could prove rather useful.

Breast milk can be used as a weapon: This is probably how Saddam Hussein was planning to use biological weapons

Breast milk can earn you a pink slip: We give cow’s milk to babies. Is a baby accidentally getting another mother’s milk really that frightening?

A popular video that I didn’t stumble upon two years after everyone else has already seen it!

The content of the video is not suitable for minors (blood, Epic Beard Man’s shirt), but it’s not like minors visit this site anyway.