If you’re like most people, you’ve probably thought to yourself, “Hey, I wonder when Liquid Egg Product is going to get us some good breast milk stories.” Well, today’s your lucky day…

Breast milk can be used as a cheese: The couple has further plans to create a gelato.

Breast milk can repel the opposite gender: And considering the number of caddish males, this could prove rather useful.

Breast milk can be used as a weapon: This is probably how Saddam Hussein was planning to use biological weapons

Breast milk can earn you a pink slip: We give cow’s milk to babies. Is a baby accidentally getting another mother’s milk really that frightening?

Celebrating Black History Month doesn’t work as well when you encourage elementary school students to celebrate O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman, and RuPaul.

3 L.A. teachers suspended over Black History Month celebration

A popular video that I didn’t stumble upon two years after everyone else has already seen it!

The content of the video is not suitable for minors (blood, Epic Beard Man’s shirt), but it’s not like minors visit this site anyway.

“Why do idiot’s flock to the Chronicle comments section?”

Unfortunately, I can’t embed these videos, so you’ll actually have to click on the link.

They’re funny; watch them.

New emergency number

We’ll throw in the Piracy Warning clip as a bonus

The New Jersey Nets are a professional basketball team, the 3-40 record notwithstanding.

Our company is working on creating a real intranet; there’s an outside contractor that they are working with. Due to slow progress, I’ve been tapped to help on the project outside of normal working hours (for a nice bit of extra pay, of course).

We were supposed to have an online meeting last night to discuss the project. For a week, the date was set, and the contractor was supposed to set up the meeting. Our IT guy emailed him the morning of, reminding him to send out an invite for the rest of us involved. That afternoon, concerned I did not get an invite, also sent a reminder.

Around 8:00 pm last night, I gave up checking for the meeting information. It obviously wasn’t happening.

So this morning, I check the email…at 3:00 this morning, the guy sent an invite for 9:00 this morning. First, our IT guy isn’t even in today! Second, I start the day at 8:30 am. Assuming I check all email right away, this gives me at most half an hour. But I did not even get to respond to the email before the new meeting time.

I declined the meeting, responding to the contractor (copying in the other members) about the unacceptable short lead time.

Also not professional: TSA screener plants white powder on passenger as a joke

“Remind me to fart on my father’s arm for making me a Mets and Jets fan.” –Stugotz

“At this rate, Singletary is gonna run out of body parts to show his team”

So one of the wittier ESPN commenters says as San Francisco is down 21-0 at halftime to Houston.

(Referring to this story if you have not been fortunate enough to see it yet.)