Liquid Egg Product
The Shawn Bradley of Weblogs
"Don't get me wrong, everything the media writes is not wrong. But I'd say 99 percent of it is wrong, in my opinion, but I don't read the newspaper, so I don't know. I hear things, though."
-- R.W. McQuarters

de la Maza is teh bomb

There’s been some sort of nerdy chess player dust-up on some chick named Vicary’s blog. FIDE Master Jon Jacobs had the following to say:

They and their blogs carry colorful handles like Liquid Egg Product, blunderprone, Wahrheit, and even Man de la Maza….Less politely, they could be described as a “cult”…

Fellow bloggers, including BDK, Wahrheit, and chessloser went to bat for me, indicating that I am not part of the de la Maza cult.

Unfortunately, Mr. Jacobs is closer to the mark than I’ve been letting on.

The Mascot turns to the Cult of Mazaism

You see, last December the Mascot converted to Mazaism, and we helped him build a dark temple in his basement so he could worship the requisite three times a day. (Worship sessions consist of constant repetition of the phrase “de la Maza is teh bomb” while moving around in circles. It’s not my cup of tea, but whatever.)

A couple months ago, FM Jon Jacobs snuck into the Mascot’s basement, snapped some photographs, and threatened to release them to the world if we at Liquid Egg Product didn’t pay up. Even though we’ve been FAITHFULLY paying the hush money every week, he went ahead and PUBLICLY outed this site yesterday.

We’ve stopped the payments, and are looking into ways we can legally recover the blackmail money.

No, the Mascot’s Dark Temple is not available for tours. Sorry.

May 8th, 2008 13 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Chess, Religion

13 Comments »

  1. LOL^N

    That picture is great.

    When he visited me over Spring Break, I was wondering what the hell Mascot was doing with those chicken entrails in my garage. He got very angry when I asked him about it.

    Comment by bluedevil.knight@yahoo.com | 8 May 2008

  2. AbFab, as in Absolutely Fabulous, that deserves more than ROFLMAO, that’s just, well, Teh Bomb.

    Comment by Wahrheit | 8 May 2008

  3. Dang it, all these people commenting while I’m commenting so I can’t answer everyone at once.

    Wait a minute…YOU did the circles…surely you can explain the chicken entrails??? (Unless it’s something new.)

    Comment by Donnie | 8 May 2008

  4. LOLx5!!! I loved it!

    Comment by soapstone | 8 May 2008

  5. you are evil!

    I nearly choked and i’ve got coffee all over my keyboard now. :)

    Comment by tanc (happyhippo) | 8 May 2008

  6. LEP, you rock!

    Comment by Edwin | 8 May 2008

  7. Mascot, you can join me in cult hero status but you have to loose teh misspelling of teh….that’s been mine for a long time now. It’s become a trademark of sorts.

    Comment by Blunderprone | 8 May 2008

  8. LOL, so the mascot got into chess!! You must be having a positive influence on him. Is that dark altar a part of someones rug? If so then I think perhaps the mascot’s head is a little scrambled. :-D another groaner of a pun from yours truly.

    Comment by l3rucewayne | 9 May 2008

  9. Donnie, you’re way over my head here. Could you email me?

    Love

    Comment by Grandma | 9 May 2008

  10. you rock

    Comment by chessloser | 9 May 2008

  11. Donnie, I hope you didn’t mind. I made a deal with the MAscot to cast him in teh role of Riff Raff in my latest production: Rocky Errant Picture Show.

    ( Damn he’s cheap!)

    Comment by Blunderprone | 10 May 2008

  12. Blunderprone’s film is fantastically funny! But the Mascot needs more screen time, man. I showed the movie to my wife and when he came on I swear her pupils dilated…

    BTW Mascot, do you have some stats to publish about problems attempted, completed, percentages through the first 10,000 tries, charts, graphs, diagrams, CTA v. CTB, etc. etc.?

    Your public awaits.

    Comment by Wahrheit | 10 May 2008

  13. @Blunderprone: the Egg’s free to take other gigs as he wishes, as long as it doesn’t interfere with his work here. Your work did him justice.

    @Wahrheit: As far as I understand, he thinks “chess circles” is metaphorical, which is why he set up a temple instead of a chess board. But maybe he’ll ’splain better.

    @Grandma: Don’t worry; it’s very specific to the chess blogging community.

    Everyone, glad you liked it.

    Comment by Donnie | 11 May 2008

Leave a comment