Hot chess player alert!
This is what I’m trying to get through Donnie’s thick skull. He posts this strange article about chess dice. Meanwhile, I’m finding out about the hot female chess players and where you can find them on the web.
This is the kind of stuff you guys really care about. Natalia Pogonina. Hmmm. She’s hot.
Because “management” said this post can’t just be bunch of her pictures, I have to type some stuff. Like mention she’s over 2500 FIDE (whatever that means) and #14 rated female player in the world. And she’s got a few polls on her site. Like this one:
I think they forgot the last choice, so I added it in manually. I sent them an e-mail letting them know, so maybe it will be fixed by the time you see it.
But this poll question I think is very relevant and important:
Now, I don’t go to chess tournaments. But I asked Donnie about the type of chicks you can meet there. He said they are usually either in school, or the moms of the kids. So then I asked if he meant high school or elementary school. He said usually elementary or middle school. So that meant once in a while, a high schooler, right? He said yes, but they are still underage.
So, for me, the whole “practicing sex” thing wouldn’t be lack of desire so much as lack of opportunity.
But if Natalia Pogonina’s there? Yeah, I’ll be like “Hey, babe, I could use the practice!” (not that I need the practice, of course, I’m already so good at it.) Meanwhile, all those stuffy white guys will be too busy studying the Gohraveinchezhumuzhicz Opening to even notice her.
I like how you can say anything you want and blame it on your Alter Eggo
Reply to Derek SlaterSo sex with the queen doesnt count? I thought I had a threesome going.
Reply to Pawn ShamanThe second poll forgot some very important options:
- Yes, and I’m a man, who used to be a womsn.
- Yes, and I’m a woman, who used to be a man.
And all variations thereof.
Reply to Sworn Enemy :)Variations?
Um, “I’m a woman who used to be a straight transexual, until the operation” ?
I mean what’s left?
Reply to Derek SlaterA bikini photoshoot? It doesn’t look to me like she’s got much going for her where a bikini is concerned… But i like her because like me she plays the Benko Gambit vs 1.d4. All hail the Benko Gambiteers
Oops! Seems i let you in on one of my opening secrets
Reply to CMoBSworn Enemy/Derek, this reminds me of the time I was at this cool party like 20 years ago, and everyone was laughing and joking, and I was, like, “I’m not really a heterosexual, I’m a lesbian trapped inside a man’s body. But who can tell the difference?” and oh, man, I thought that was hilarious, we were cracking up, and then this other guy in the group doesn’t even smile, he says gravely “That’s really true, you know,” and I’m like yeah, very funny, and he starts to get like, all bent and I realize he’s serious. Like, who knew, I thought I invented it!
CMoB, uh, you’re kinda proving the Mascot’s point…a) a gal doesn’t have to go 38DD to look great in a bikini, and b) The Benko Gambit?!?! It might as well have been the Gohraveinchezhumuzhicz Opening. You look at her and think Benko Gambit? I think Marshall Attack.
Reply to RobertAnybody with 38DD is headed for either reduction or back surgery. – Signed, the old person in the group.
Reply to Derek Slater@Derek: You are adept at coming up with these names I like. First, it was “LEPers” (lepers), now Alter Eggo.
Even though, the Mascot does not have an Alter Eggo as far as I know, so you might be wrong there.
@Pawn Shaman: You have to remove the felt bottom and hope the piece is hollow to get that to work.
@Sworn Enemy/Derek: “Both” was still not covered.
@CMoB: I have bought an anti-Benko book and booked a plane ticket to the Netherlands to take advantage of your mistake.
@Robert: Wow, that is a freaky story. You’d think you only get that from Jerry Springer or your imagination.
I’ll agree the 38DD is optional for looking good in a bikini.
Reply to Donnie