I could kick Cap’n Crunch’s butt
I think Quaker Oats is ashamed they hitched their star to Cap’n Crunch. But the public clamored for more transparency about this so-called “icon”, and we got this:
4’11″ and 102 lbs. (150 cm and 46 kg) Seriously? That guy is a wimp! I could completely kick his butt in a fight. Not to mention in “dueling”, don’t they use guns and possibly kill their opponents? Not the best example for kids.
So, I don’t see why he gets to have his own cereal, and I don’t.
I didn’t realize his name was Horatio. What an insult to the great Admiral Nelson.
Reply to AllenI practice Renaissance dueling so I thought I might give my two cents. I got rather concerned after reading about his dueling hobby. Yes you are right dueling almost always involves a death. Dueling is not supposed to be a hobby, meaning this “friendly” captain likes to kill people. He looks like he’s maybe in his 60′s or 70′s. It means he’s either one lucky guy or a really good fighter. My money’s on the latter (sorry you won’t be able to kick his butt in a fight). In his dueling career maybe 60-70 people died at his hands assuming he duels once a year. If dueling is a hobby then one can assume that it’s done several times a year. This also tells me that he takes the slightest insults very seriously and therefore constantly challenges people to duels or that he pisses many people off and gets challenged to duels or both. I think he has a sadistic need to kill people but will only do so “legally” so that the authorities do not prosecute him. Either way, he’s not the friendly captain that we see in commercials. Boy this is a lot of writing.
The Wild Man of Borneo was probably one of his dueling victims. I could only assume the Wild Man did something that peeved the captain
Reply to Q@Allen: Even worse, his middle name is Magellan! (According to Wikipedia.)
@Q: Maybe he’s not friendly unless he gets to kill some people. Incidentally, you duel, so you must be pretty good or lucky yourself
Reply to DonnieYes i duel, emphasis on “practice”. I’m not a sick bastard like Captain Crunch
Reply to QLEP is actually just talking smack like this because that huge cut on his chin is from losing a fight to the Cap’n and not from that other crap excuse he gives.
My husband was killed in a duel with the Cap’N. He is dangerous.
Reply to The MRSStop and think about using an inaccurate and unreliable flintlock pistol to try for a killshot against a guy who’s 4’11″ and 102.
It’s like trying to shoot the mascot if you’re not allowed to hit him in the head.
Reply to Derek Slater@Q: Actually, I hear you are a sick bastard, just not in the same way as the Cap’n…
@The MRS: I tend to agree; the Cap’n has able to fight me to a draw. It’s also rumored he was able to sneak his keys past that Captain Keymaster in that Captain Morgan’s commercail.
@Derek: And you want to keep on targeting his mustache. It’s not fair, I tell you!
Reply to The Mascot