Maybe I’ve been doing too many tactical puzzles lately…but… I would overtaken the old man’s diet coke. Then, with my pocket knife, I would have drilled a hole in the cap of the DC, wadded some chewing gum up in the corner of the cap and carefully nested a mentos in it. Then, I’d take the boat from the kid, place the mentos-DC bomb on board and zipped over to those jerks who couldn’t think of tossing me my keys. By the time the mini boat arrives, the MEntos drops into the Diet coke and BOOM… fountain of soda!

@blunderprone: You know, that would make an awesome parody.

The drawback being the smug blonde would probably just throw the keys into lake. But then he could just drop another Mentos bomb where the keys were dropped, the explosion blowing the keys back into the guy’s hand.

@wang: I guess. (I’ve never used that particular insult, even in anger.)

The aerodynamics of pocket knives are not so good.