There’s been speculation how Obama could possibly be the Antichrist, because of his hypnotic hold on people worldwide. And his Muslim dad. Obama says he’s Christian, but is he really? The GOP wants you to keep speculating to get more votes, BTW.

(Polite society doesn’t say this, but the insinuation’s probably easier because Obama’s not white-skinned, so he doesn’t look like most of us Americans.)

But if Obama were the real Antichrist, would it be so obvious? Would millions of people immediately become suspicious?

I propose that the real Antichrist would be more subtle than that. Someone who has even greater worldwide appeal and would be a much better deceiver. Someone who no one would suspect, because he never talks politics. So he could work his master plan behind the scenes. Someone whose name is nowadays mostly associated with hokey underwear commercials rather than any governmental power.

I am talking, of course, about Michael Jordan.

Additional Reading: Is Barack Obama the Anti-Christ?

12 thoughts on “Obama’s probably not the Antichrist

  1. Well, the antichrist would know that you’d think it was too obvious. It’s the perfect alibi.

    One topic that interests me is the argument that Obama the Antichrist won’t instigate a nuclear holocaust until his second term. That could be helpful, as by then we’ll all have health care when the screaming starts.

  2. No…. its Bill Gates… I mean really… now that MS is practically ubiquitous in every home ( except you chosen ones I call Mac-heads) adn now he’s doing this ” do-gooder” philionthropic mission with teh Bill and Linda foundation… a master mind. The aniti-christ disguised as a geek. Brilliant… simply brilliant.

  3. I really think it’s Mr. E. He’s using you as part of his scheme for world domination. You really should watch your back.

  4. @BDK: True, but we’ll have to wait a week or two to get any treatment.

    @Tacticus: LOL. In a way, this would be logical. But could you imagine voting for Stalin? It would feel something like that.

    @Blunderprone: Does this mean that Mac users are chosen by God?

    @Q: Um, yes, Mr. E has worldwide appeal, too, right? I’ll keep an eye on him and his gold chains.

  5. On the voting to fulfill biblical prophesy thing, I don’t know what percentage of Christians hold to the doctrine of the rapture, (I’m a bit skeptical of it) and if that doesn’t happen, then reading from revelation, the fulfillment of prophesy would mean a lot of unpleasantness for Christians (and everyone else also) everywhere.

  6. I think the antichrist will be more of an organization instead of an individual. After all, the Bible does use the plural “antichrists” a lot. I’m happy to find someone else who agrees that Michael Jordan could, in fact, be the antichrist! I mean, it’s pretty obvious that the “Mark of the Beast” refers to anyone who wears Air Jordans!

    All the pieces are coming together…

  7. @Tacticus: Glad you were OK (everyone I knew was well away from the coast, which was nice).

    @l3rucewayne: Relevation is very symbolic and code-filled, intended to be understood only by the target audience. If it’s confusing, it’s because the audience was the seven churches, not Christians in general. If I were on that council to determine what writings were “supposed” to be in the Bible, I’d argue against including Revelation at all.

    @RT Solo: The focus on a single Antichrist is much more romantic, and makes for a more epic story. But as you mentioned, doesn’t refer to one person most of the time.

    @Polly: Yeah, but the Bible doesn’t say the Antichrist wears glasses…so, probably not.

    @E: Hmmm, all the Catholic readers got a kick out of that I’m sure.

    @Sworn Enemy: Um, thanks. As great as your contribution is, I’m still not paying for your dinner tomorrow.

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