"You know you're in good territory when a simple mathematical function [written in PHP] requires use of explode ."
-- from the Daily WTF

One could argue he’d make a poor preacher

Pretend you’re an aspiring leader for a religious organization. You’re 19 years old, young and energetic, and eager to prove your worth. Which of these activities would not fall on your list of things to do?

  • Study the scriptures
  • Learn from older, experienced leaders
  • Burn your infant daughter in a microwave*
An Open Microwave

The hero of the story, Joshua Mauldin, decided on the third course of action (it’s not clear whether he bothered with the first two). I suppose an advantage to this route is that spending 5 to 99 years in prison will toughen him up for the real world.

So what’s the mother say about this? “Satan saw my husband as a threat. Satan attacked him because he saw him as a threat.” She even set up a MySpace page called “Joshua Mauldin is not a Monster” (either MySpace took it down, or I couldn’t find it. MySpace has horrible search capabilities). Undoubtedly, Satan’s next step was attacking Maudlin just before communion, making him spike the wine or grape juice with psilocybin. I’m sure the congregation would have been sympathetic.

She also “described [his] weaknesses as an undisclosed mental disability, and that her efforts to get help for him have failed.” Any church that’s looking for a preacher who’s stupid and/or crazy, look no further.

(By the way, the baby survived, but did need hospitalization.)

Houston Chronicle: Mom blames Satan for burning baby in microwave


*If the baby’s an infidel, this may be acceptable for aspiring Al-Qaeda members.

May 27th, 2007 1 comment
Posted by Donnie Filed under Burning Agony, In the News, Religion, Weaksauce Losers

  1. annie posted the following on 30 May 2007 at 11:14 am.

    why are we giving this guy a trial? it’s our tax dollars paying for this good-for-nothing’s attorneys. he’s guilty. lock him up.

        Reply to annie

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