液體蛋 (Liquid Egg Product)
Preparing for when Beijing takes over in 2025
"Remember kids, don't try this at home even if you have a bottomless pit in your backyard"
-- Construction Bob

Great Moments in History

Rasputin

Rasputin was this weird mystical dude who had mystical powers over the last Tsarina of Russia. He had this weird scraggly beard, too; unfortunately the prop that I used had hair too thick so it’s not realistic. (It was a rental so I couldn’t rip out half the hairs as I would have liked.)

This guy is kind of mysterious. He was supposedly some combination of mystic, priest, healer, hypnotist, manipulator. Pretty much a perfect topic for the late-night Coast to Coast radio program with George Noory.

During WWI, Rasputin claimed that the Russian army would not win unless Tsar Nicholas II took command of the army. That was pretty much asking for it because the Tsar didn’t know anything about that stuff. But maybe he just wanted more power, ’cause he exerted an undue influence on the Tsarina while Nick was at the front. And got more power.

To make a long story short, a lot of people didn’t like him, and he got assassinated.

July 3rd, 2008 7 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot Filed under History

The first one’s not safe for work, by the way

Now this is the kind of spark the chess world could use (NSFW): Shaq vs Kobe is not over

Topalov burning Kramnik in a freestyle rap…that would be cool.

This next video is not something the chess world needs, but it’s related to the first. Its quality is 100% worthy of this website, though…

July 1st, 2008 no comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Sports

Tournament of Lepers 2, Week 4

Week 4 Pairings
White Black
Chessaholic Tom
The Bye Blunderprone
Polly Scuirus
The Bye Wang
Ivan Takchess
Donnie Wahrheit

Dr. Gene Ray Division Standings
CA BP Pol Tom Sci Total
CA 1.0 1.0 2.0
BP 0.5 0.5 1.0 2.0
Pol 0.0 0.5 1.0 1.5
Tom 0.5 0.0 0.5
Sci 0.0 0.0 0.0

Alex Chiu Division Standings
LEP Wng Ivn Whr Tak Total
LEP 1.0 1.0 2.0
Wng 0.0 1.0 1.0
Ivn 0.0 1.0 1.0
Whr 0.0 0.0
Tak 0.0 0.0

Already more than halfway through! I’m missing a handful of scores, so let me know and I’ll update (OR, I missed some that were already revealed.)

Rushing; some of your comments need responding to. Like explaining why the Wilson Gambit is relevant.

June 30th, 2008 15 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Chess, Tournament of Lepers

Uncle!

Dear Europe,

Your decision to incorporate airlines in your emissions trading scheme (ETS) is vaguely unrealistic. Please note oil is over $140/barrel. We at the airlines are currently trying every trick possible to use less fuel. We really, really want to cut emissions because it will help us not go bankrupt.

Now, if the goal of ETS is simply forcing airlines to either cut even more flights or go out of business…well, that would certainly reduce emissions, and I can’t fault its efficiency.

Source: EU in talks with Obama and McCain over aviation cap-and-trade deal

June 27th, 2008 3 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Burning Agony, In the News

God arrested for selling cocaine

For those of you who consider Liquid Egg Product a primary source for world news, I apologize for being a little lax recently. However, rest assured that I continue to keep an eye out for relevant, engaging topics.

Recently, Tampa police arrested God, accusing him of selling cocaine–near a church of all places. Of course, there’s a bit more to the story than that sentence indicates, but it makes an almost unbeatable headline.

As long as reality continues to remain more interesting than fiction, I plan to stick around as long as possible.

Source: God accused of selling cocaine

June 25th, 2008 6 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under In the News

Unbridled Rivalry

Desktop Tower Defense

The strangely addicting Desktop Tower Defense has provided us with several hours of distraction, strategy pondering, and joy. The egg and I have been fiercely battling for the highest score. While I was the first to beat normal difficulty, the Mascot’s edged me out in score…but he hasn’t had the GUTS to try Hard!

If you want to boast of your ability, submit your score and enter “Liquid Egg” (without quotes) for the group name when it asks.

June 23rd, 2008 8 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Gaming

Tournament of Lepers 2, Week 3

Week 3 Pairings
White Black
Polly Chessaholic
Sciurus Drunknknite
Blunderprone Tom
Takchess Wang
Wahrheit Ivan
Donnie The Bye

Once I get the rest of the results, I’ll do the crosstable. Has drunknknite become “The Bye” of the Alex Chiu division? He hasn’t updated his blog in a while and I hadn’t heard that he played either of the first two games.

June 23rd, 2008 27 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Chess, Tournament of Lepers, Uncategorized

The incompetence of management is staggering

Dear Readers:

If you tried to visit late Saturday and most of Sunday, you saw some placeholder page that said the domain liquideggproduct.com had expired. As it turns out, Management had entered an incorrect address for the credit card when trying to renew the domain name.

Fortunately, someone else in the Company noticed, re-submitted billing information, and renewed the domain for 5 years.

Next time, I hope someone competent and responsible will be placed in charge of such matters.

Sincerely,

The Mascot

June 22nd, 2008 9 comments
Posted by Liquid E. P. Mascot Filed under Blog News, Weaksauce Losers

Construction Bob Escapes from Hell

I was showing the Mascot this video and we agreed that it would be awesome to make a game as good as this.

Thanks to one of my good college friends (who occasionally uses the moniker “Construction Bob”) for introducing me to this fine game.

“Remember kids, don’t try this at home even if you have a bottomless pit in your backyard”!

June 19th, 2008 8 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Burning Agony, Gaming

Inheriting a database

1.
database.SetQuery("select *\n from " + TABLE);

\n in the middle of a simple select * query? That’s just weird, man.

(Besides that it’s not particularly good form to use select * in the first place. Although it’s not good form on my part for not responding to most of your comments–will do tonight.)

2.

> now, what did you say was holding you up from declaring a
> proper datetime datatype?

I have inherited the database. Unfortunately because the date field is
of type varchar, there exist some incorrect dates, so I need to clean up
the data….You will feel a slight shift in the Force when I have rectified the
datatype error.

I’m in this situation! Except I don’t have time to make all the necessary changes to the code. It would be much appreciated to withhold any snide comments such as, “The real WTF is that you’re using MySQL.”

(Quote from [thelist] MySQL Convert String To Date)

June 18th, 2008 6 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Computer-fu