Proof you should visit Liquid Egg Product at work
Visiting Liquid Egg Product can be a vital part of boosting your productivity at work. (Not that you aren’t doing this already, of course.) Taking a break from work to surf the ‘net actually boosts your ability to work because you get revitalized. Check out what this professor at some university said:
Dr Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic of London’s Goldsmiths University, who helped with the research, said: “Tea breaks and fag breaks have long been the most common types of break within office culture but the report shows that ebreaks are fast becoming the most popular choice of break for British workers.
“The report proves that a 10 minute ebreak a day can have significant benefits but, despite this, many bosses are banning them in the fear that they distract employees.
By the way, this article’s from Britain, so when it says “fag break” it means cigarettes. Either that, or they’re doing something else in the British workplace I wouldn’t be particularly eager to be a part of.
Anyway, the next time your boss asks you “Why the *#@% are you visiting that website with that egg again, Smithson?!?!”, just respond, “Sir/Madam, I’m just trying to boost my productivity for the good of the company! That egg is called the Mascot and you’ll find him very inspirational!” (Note: In that example conversation, you should substitute your own name for Smithson if your name’s not Smithson.)
And while you’re at it, tell him to buy a Mascot T-shirt to support my 2008 presidential bid. Obama is starting to pass me in campaign funds.
Source: The Press Association: Web breaks ‘boost productivity’
sometimes i take a break from surfing the net to work. i do find this really revitalizes me and helps me surf the net longer and harder (yes, longer, harder, deeper as well). i would have bought a mascot t shirt, but i already bought a libertarian t-shirt to support bob barr (seriously, i’m gonna actually vote for the first time ever, and it will be for bob barr)
Comment by chessloser | 2 June 2008
notice how i didn’t attempt the cheap humor with a comment about tea breaks in china, or fag breaks in san fransico? i totally didn’t even mention it at all….
Comment by chessloser | 2 June 2008
So if 10 minutes a day increases productivity… then 60 minutes a day must mean I’ll be uber-productive!
Comment by Blunderprone | 2 June 2008
or… the ultimate in efficiency acceleration…TEXAS HOLD ‘EM ON FACEBOOK!!!
Our work systems are so slow at work that I actually surf the net in between keystrokes. Now I just have better justification for it - “but Mr Boss! I’m just revitalizing myself while I wait for this policy to meander its way through your archaic AS400 system that’s so outdated, vacuum tubes might be faster!”
Comment by annie | 2 June 2008
Mmmm, AS400.
Comment by Derek Slater | 2 June 2008
as you know, a ‘faggot’ is a bundle of sticks from the preindusrial era. a ‘lady’, was a baker of bread.
Comment by David K, Seattle | 2 June 2008
@chessloser: So Bob Barr pulled it out? I was really hoping for Michael Jingozian…
And thank you for your impeccable taste in humor.
@Blunderprone: That’s right! Just like if 8 hours a sleep is good a day, 16 hours must be better…
@Annie: Your boss’s name is “Mr. Boss”? That’s awesome; gotta make things easy.
I had to look up AS400. That thing’s 20 years old.
@Derek: AS400…not so tempting.
@David K: From dictionary.com: Other obsolete senses of faggot were “man hired into military service simply to fill out the ranks at muster” (1700) and “vote manufactured for party purposes” (1817).
The English language is awesome.
Comment by Donnie | 3 June 2008