"Responsibility is to me a code word that has a lot of racial and class implications."
-- some random person

Sorry, Grandpa

Tom Cruise

When the time comes for me to get married, there’s always the issue of massive planning and making sure everything’s perfect for the bride. Because as we know, the wedding’s a girl thing. As guys, our job is to:

  • Say “Yes, dear,” when the fiance makes a suggestion.
  • Play golf up to one hour before the wedding. (Well, I don’t like golf, so I’ll stick with chess.)

One part of the planning could be very easy for me: my grandfather’s a pastor, so he’d be able to perform the ceremony, and he did do my sister’s wedding last year. Not to spurn family, but I would have to decline his services if he so offered.

You see, there’s this other guy who I’d love to perform the ceremony. You may have heard of him; his name is Tom Cruise. Apparently, he’s reached the highest levels of Scientology by taking the “cream” and the “clear”. Or something like that. This apparently means he act as some sort of priest, and rumor has it that he could perform a wedding for a friend.

I’m saving my money from now for what will hopefully be a glorious day. Who knows, maybe Xenu will tag along, and I’ll get to meet him in person.

June 20th, 2007 6 comments
Posted by Donnie Filed under Chess, Entertainment, Religion

  1. Grandma posted the following on 20 June 2007 at 4:38 pm.

    Grandpa doesn’t offer; he waits to be asked. So no problem.

        Reply to Grandma
  2. none posted the following on 21 June 2007 at 10:07 am.

    Let us know when Tom contacts you. Maybe you two can share books on scientology.

        Reply to none
  3. Allen posted the following on 21 June 2007 at 11:24 am.

    Here’s a reference of how the wedding may go:

    http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Secrets/TomCruise/wedding-ceremony.html

        Reply to Allen
  4. Donnie Briggs posted the following on 21 June 2007 at 11:32 am.

    Grandma: Will keep in mind. Mostly, the story was for effect.

    none: He seemed insulted when I pulled out my Scientology collection from the box labeled “comedy”.

        Reply to Donnie Briggs
  5. annie posted the following on 23 June 2007 at 12:53 am.

    I wish i had a grandpa who could have performed our ceremony. As it was the pastor hardly knew us but he gave a beautiful message.

        Reply to annie
  6. Caro :) posted the following on 30 June 2007 at 3:17 am.

    I think when it’s my time, I’ll just get someone to do this.

        Reply to Caro :)

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