The Chessplayer’s Drink
First of all, I’d like to thank Garry Kasparov and Captain Morgan in advance for using their imagery without permission. (Click to view full-size.) Inspired by Blunderprone’s recent post on Joseph Blackburne.
For those of you who don’t play chess…the guy on the left is Garry Kasparov, one of the best players ever. The Mascot wackily played a horrible opening move because he has a little captain in him. This sends Kasparov into a deep, perplexed think even though in real life he wouldn’t. Get it? Ha,ha,ha,ha,groan…..
: Er. On the internet, they have a term for this: “epic fail”.
: True. But the next attempt at chess humor is worse. By the way, when are you going to take care of those interviews with Mr. E and Alex Chiu?
: Eventually.
NOT an epic fail, but a wonderful juxtaposition of intellectual potpourri that made me laugh…the most fun thing I can imagine is me, Donnie, The Mascot and Garri sitting around a table talking chess and downing shots of Cap’n…okay, even better, add chessloser and Ray Cheng and make it Bombay Sapphire Martinis. Big ones. After the third round Garri would start to think 1. h4 was actually pretty good…we need lots of cream-cheese stuffed jumbo olives…stream of consciousness is so much fun…
Comment by Wahrheit | 12 August 2008
This has got to be the funniest post since I started reading your blog… hilarious. I’m sure every chess player has seen some picture or other of Kasparov with a look on his face that’s a mixture of torture/disgust when his opponent played a sub-optimal move. That’s the image that came to my mind immediately here… a wasted Mascot confidently playing 1.h4 with a drunk smile, Garry looking on in disgust… This would really make one heck of a commercial (for chess players anyways).
Comment by Chessaholic | 12 August 2008
LMAO!
Wahrheit, let’s make your imagined scene a reality. First round is on me.
Comment by Ray Cheng | 12 August 2008
Wow! to think one of MY posts caused an inspiration? Blackburne was more a Royal crowne than a Captain though. I see him coming to the party with his chess pieces in a purple sac.
Comment by Blunderprone | 12 August 2008
LOLOLOL Poor Garry! Mascot looks so happy with his move!!
Comment by RT Solo | 13 August 2008
omg. those shrooms have finally gone to your head my dear. do I have to call Promises Malibu again?
Comment by annie | 13 August 2008
Now all of y’all know Mr. E’s no fool.
Stop drinking rum and stay in school!
Comment by Mr. E | 13 August 2008
gary looks like he is choking on the mascot’s eventual victory…
Comment by chessloser | 14 August 2008
At least he didn’t play f3.
Mr. E: That is so lame its cool:-D.
Comment by l3rucewayne | 15 August 2008
@Wahrheit: That…would be awesome. Now we just need to all go to the same tournament one of these days…
Too bad Garry’s having a few issues, what with dealing with the Kremlin and everything.
@Chessaholic: Yes, a perfect commercial for chessplayers. Except everyone knows Kasparov. The number of players who’ve even heard of the Mascot takes only 3 digits to write.
@Ray: Then Garry’s 2, Wahrheit’s 3, Mascot’s 4, chessloser’s 5…and hopefully by the time it gets to me, we’ll be too wasted to have a 6th.
@Blunderprone: Not sure if this is the kind of thing you’re proud to inspire.
@RT Solo: Yes, poor Garry, he’s in so much trouble…
@Annie: It’s the meth more than anything.
@Mr. E: Um, you do know we’re all legal and out of school, yes?
@chessloser: Yes, that must be it. Kasparov’s out of practice; no wonder he was scared.
@l3rucewayne: At least with f3, he could develop the King.
Comment by Donnie | 15 August 2008