The set of people shopping at supermarkets is fairly eclectic
Over my first week or so of living in Houston, I’ve lived off a limited variety of foodstuffs procured from Hong Kong Food Market. But now was time to do some serious stocking up on food, and I decided to visit a Fiesta (it’s a Texas thang; you wouldn’t understand. Unless you’ve lived in Texas–specifically Houston, Austin, or Dallas. So maybe that should have been “It’s a Houston, Austin, or Dallas thang…”).
It was a mostly uneventful trip, but after I’d covered the entire store, I realized I’d forgotten to buy some sort of cheese, located at the opposite end. Evading shopping carts, dodging small children, and sidling past store employees, I finally reached the end where a blonde lady who looked to be in her 50’s was looking at the cheeses.
When I got there, she told me to make sure to buy foods only if it was OK with God. As an example, she pointed out the Borden brand of cheese: “Borden” spelled backwards spells “Ned rob”, which I guess meant that Borden mentioned people stealing so I wasn’t supposed to buy it. She pointed to some products in her own cart, like some “Grin and Giggle” bath wash which she was supposed to get because she giggled too much. And there was some VO5 or something she was supposed to buy as a punishment from God. I really don’t remember the details.
As she turned to go, she mentioned I was “very nice and very handsome”, a bit of flattery which will certainly improve my evaluation of her (more than likely, I was one of the few people willing to listen to her). Then she noted my Red Cross T-shirt, and I explained to her about my blood donorship. She warned me that when giving blood, they could inject me with AIDS or something.
I figured I was dealing with someone either paranoid or kinda nutty. Then she asked if I knew that the FBI could install an implant that could make you stop talking if they didn’t want you to. I said I didn’t know about it. She laughed and said she was kidding. So now I’m wondering whether she was just messing with me the entire time. Nonetheless, it was an interesting experience which I feel the richer for.
Oh, yeah, she wished me a Happy Thanksgiving, too. Very well, then. Happy Thanksgiving, ma’am. I hope our paths cross again.
Oh my. What is it about you that attracts freaks (this lady) and geeks (caro and me)? hahahaha
My milk is Safeway brand so I am sure it’s ok with God. However, I did try to give blood but I got rejected once again ’cause I had a head cold. Maybe they only want to inject candidates who look promiscuous. Although I was wearing a tank top. It’s late. I need sleep.
Comment by annie | 8 November 2007
LOL. Although I’m a geek as well…
You probably needed one of those spaghetti tops to qualify. At least, that’s what I wore last time.
Comment by Donnie | 8 November 2007
She may have been a little freaky, or just have a weird sense of humor–but these things are not necessarily handicaps to a beautiful friendship.
Was she hot, moderately hot, or not not?
Comment by Wahrheit | 8 November 2007
damn it. no warning before you make a joke about you wearing a spaghetti top? and yes, it better be a joke
Comment by Allen | 8 November 2007
@Wahrheit: What you say is quite true: I have a weird sense of humor, but (most of) my friends and family haven’t disowned me yet! But it’s unlikely I will ever meet her again.
For a 55-year-old, neither top-grade nor low-grade.
@Allen: You have every guarantee that some of the content in some posts on this page were made in a humourous manner. (I’m practicing for my presidential run in 2016).
To comfort you, I neither own nor have worn a spaghetti top.
Comment by Donnie | 9 November 2007