The Washington Post does not understand the blogosphere
There’s this guy, Dan Zak, who articled for the Post about how to “Be More Than a Blip in the Blogosphere”. He has 10 tips, and I’ll just hit lightly on his insight. And I’ll add an 11th tip that was somehow ignored, but will be the biggest driver of traffic to your blog.
1. TELL STORIES RATHER THAN STICKING SOLELY TO LINKS OR PHOTOS. It’s the first one on his list, and I’m at a loss for a funny or sarcastic response. It’s probably the best advice the article gives.
2. CREATE A VOICE FOR YOURSELF. That’s what the Mascot was supposed to be for, but he’s not doing a very good job.
3. MAKE EVERYTHING EASY TO READ AND ACCESS. Actually, this is good advice too.
4. SIFT THROUGH BLOGROLLS AND CREATE YOUR OWN. Also known as the “I-read-your-site-could-you-please-read-mine” strategy.
5. WIDGET YOUR PAGE. Um, OK.
6. COMMENT EARLY AND OFTEN. Another “I-read-your-site-could-you-please-read-mine” strategy. Wonderful.
7. PRAY FOR A LINK FROM THE BIG BOYS. Yeah, that’s a good plan.
8. NOMINATE YOURSELF FOR AWARDS. I gave myself the Worthless Blogger Award. But I don’t see nobody taking me to Chick-fil-A.
9. POST WITH VERVE AND CONSISTENCY. Sounds like a Silmanism. (One of Silman’s books actually used the word “verve”, which is one of those words people know the definition of, but don’t actually use in real life.)
10. JOIN THE CROWD. Boy, Mr. Zak is really into this beg for traffic stuff.
All these tips are a drop in the bucket compared to my findings:
11. HAVE POSTS SOLELY DEDICATED TO PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS. Remember how I mentioned there was a spike in traffic after Hot and Allegedly Hot Female Day? Well, it’s actually a plateau now. The weird part is that the most popular picture is an older one done a while back of a woman in a bathing suit standing in a snowy forest. [The Mascot says: That means you need to make more images of women wearing bathing suits engaged in illogical environments! Like arguing in front of the Supreme Court or swimming in volcanic lava.]
Always looking for efficiencies - I think I’ll go post comments with verve on Dan’s Washington Post article, begging for a link from the big guys to my posts about women in bathing suits in illogical environments.
[Is there a flaw in this strategy for me?]
Comment by Derek Slater | 4 November 2007
me not get. why do people want to “expose” their blogs? Aren’t blogs semi-private? Isn’t it supposed to be for the blogger’s own eyes and maybe those of a select few? Don’t you WANT to be a blip?
Unless of course you actually have something IMPORTANT to say…like, you have the cure for cancer, or you know how to achieve world peace, or you have the BEST DAMN RECIPE EVER FOR GINGER LIME SALMON.
Comment by annie | 4 November 2007
@Derek: I envy you. It doesn’t get much better than that. The only other thing to add is how your commenting makes you worthy of an award.
@Annie: Depends on the blogger. For many, it’s just a personal thing. Some people actually aim to make money with it. Probably not a good idea unless you want to be disappointed with your income. Some crazier people think they can make a living off blogging, but that only happens for a particular few. For me, it’s mostly a way to relax, give people a few giggles, and run into some halfway interesting characters (and boy, have I ever).
You have a Xanga blog with that annoying Xanga lock on it, which I guess makes it semi-private. Mostly, though, they’re publicly viewable. But blogs are a dime-a-dozen, and don’t exactly have top search engine billing.
I do have a recipe for sweet and sour chicken feet, which ends up being very messy to eat.
Comment by Donnie | 5 November 2007
I come here for the pictures of hot chicks, but most days I end up shaking my shell in disappointment.
Comment by Liquid E. P. Mascot | 5 November 2007
I actually removed the xanga block, I got annoying emails from people who didn’t want to sign up to read my blither.
Sweet & Sour chicken feet? Ugh. Makes those BBQ appendages on Sworn Enemy’s site look downright tasty.
Mascot, you want hot chicks, go to http://www.hometrainingtools.com/catalog/life-science-biology/animals/cat_quail-eggs-incubators.html
Comment by annie | 5 November 2007
Maybe Dan should have gone to BDK’s blog and read his suggestions.
http://chessconfessions.blogspot.com/2007/08/getting-people-to-read-your-blog-blog.html
Ohhhhhh, by making this comment I’m doing two of his suggestions. 1. Post useful comments on well read blogs. (Hopefully this comment was useful, and this is a well read blog.)
2. Talk about other people’s blogs. (Oops I think I’m supposed to do that in my own blog.)
Comment by Polly | 5 November 2007
@Annie: Yeah, the block was a bit of a nuisance, so thanks for removing it :D.
The Mascot was not amused.
@Polly: 1. Well, the comment was useful. Unfortunately, this blog is not particularly well-read. And our readerships seems to have a lot of people in common anyway.
2. Right. So talk about how mediocre my blog is on your blog.
Comment by Donnie | 6 November 2007